You’ve gazed vacantly at art during the Works; endured the monotonous drone and punishing heat of the Indy; eaten cotton candy like tendon at the Ex; and shambled up and down the hill at Folk Fest. Now, Edmonton festival zombie, I give you the 28th annual Fringe Theatre Festival.

Or a guide to it, anyway. Knowing your distaste for “live” theatre, I’ve compiled a brief list of plays that should appeal to your “undead sensibilities” — oh, the irony.

First up is a new work to the Fringe, courtesy of Accidental Theatre Co. For the Love of a Zombie is described as a “comedy-horror about love, death and the abuse of farm implements.” The trailer on the play’s Facebook group has a Trailer Park Boys vibe and director Brent Falzien has a multimedia component integrated into the proceedings, which sounds technologically counterintuitive for a play about mindless flesh eaters but interesting all the same (Stage 1).

For a strange twist on a classic tale, Infamous Arts’ Captain Hook vs. the Zombies could be worth a look. Maybe that self-righteous little upstart Peter Pan will finally get what’s coming to him: A chomp on the neck (Stage 8).

If you’re wondering why entertainment sensations like zombies and musicals haven’t come together harmoniously like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup before, look no further than Cadaver (Stage 10).

If you can’t wait for details about your own untimely end, which will occur on Dec. 21, 2012, according to the ancient Mayans and crazies on the Interweb, you could check out Doom 2012: When Will You Flee? The trailer on the play’s website,, evokes a ’50s-style PSA that covers the variety of ways man might meet his maker — a veritable encyclopedia apocolyptica. It all sounds quite horrific, and funny (Stage 5).

Finally, it would probably be a good idea to check out The Art of Being a Bastard (Stage 2). Best toughen up now. When the Apocalypse does hit, despite what you may have heard or read, nice guys are bound to finish last.

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