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Video: Florida women busted stealing beach canopy threaten man's penis

"What followed was pure gold. I continued to back up as we went around the canopy frame. In the most bizarre moment she gnashed her teeth, lunging at me with an open palm and said, “I’ll grab your dick!” I appreciated the offer but didn’t feel the chemistry was there."

Two Florida beach beauties went on the attack after a man named Rich busted them trying to steal his belongings - which included an apparently complicated canopy, chairs and even children's toys.

Rich, who shot the video, says that he was enjoying the Fourth of July holiday at New Smyrna Beach when he stepped away from his beach camp site. When he returned, he captured the women on video having difficulty disassembling his canopy.

"Do you need help with that? Is that yours," he asks the women.

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At first they play innocent: "Yeah. But we don't know how to do it," one of the women answers.

He drops the act and let's them know the items belong to him and his family. The women conjure up their finest, "Huh?" faces and feign confusion.

One of the women, who is identified as "Linda," becomes agitated and demands that he stop filming the incident. He then tells her to "get away from my [expletive]."

The video ends shortly after, but Rich later toldGawker that Linda, red tanktini and all, threatened not only to put his iPhone "in the grass," but also said she would grab his "d-ck."

He writes:

"What followed was pure gold. I continued to back up as we went around the canopy frame. In the most bizarre moment she gnashed her teeth, lunging at me with an open palm and said, “I’ll grab your dick!” I appreciated the offer but didn’t feel the chemistry was there."

"The two then said they needed to call “Pat”, which may or may not have been the androgynous SNL character. He or she was going to apparently clarify what they were doing with my stuff. Lady in Red said, “We need to get a phone, but not his. His phone is tainted.” They then scurried off towards the parking lot."

 
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