Her MTV reality series has been canceled and her attempt at being a pop singer fizzled, but Heidi Montag insists she’s now found her calling.

“I’m so excited The Hills is finally over and I can now become a full-time motion picture actress,” Montag tells People magazine. “I’m now finally free to start my career and my new life as female mogul in Hollywood.”

And Montag has aspirations beyond acting, crossing over into screenwriting as well.

“I am making the first 3-D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a small beach town and I save the day with my 3-D boobs,” she says. “I’ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor.”