It's time for another edition of our weird news roundup. This is Generation Beta.
Women: Keep your husbands from attending Euro2012
KIEV, Ukraine (AP) - In an attempt to keep Dutch men from the grasp of attractive, sexual Ukrainian women…the Netherlands Energy Company is offering a free beer tap to customers who sign up for its services.
The ad, titled “Keep Him Home,” implies that if Dutch men were able to tap their own beer, they would be more likely to watch the games from home instead of traveling to Ukraine to watch the Euro 2012 football championship this June…where they are likely to be seduced by Ukraine’s beautiful women.
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Ukraine Foreign Ministry spokesman Oleh Voloshin called the ad “humiliating and discriminatory.”
The Dutch Foreign Ministry declined to comment.
Man sues BMW for giving him 2-year erection
SAN FRANCISCO (SF CHRONICLE) - A man if suing BMW…claiming that the “rigid seat” of his motorcycle gave him a 2 year erection.
Henry Wolf filed suit against BMW North America and Corbin-Pacific, Inc., the makers of the seat, for mental and emotional anguish caused by his two-year stiffy.
Wolf says he rode the bike for four hours around SF in May 2010….and he’s had continued problems since.
His lawyer, Vernon Bradley of Sausalito says, “He is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.”
FARRELL, Pa. (AP) - We’ve all heard of parents teaching things to their kids at “too young” of an age…but this one really takes the cake.
Police say a western Pennsylvania man’s cell phone contained a video of a boy being taught to break up marijuana buds by rubbing them in his hands. The goal is to sell the pot. The boy is about 2.
Police don’t have an identity of the boy…but 25-year-old Christopher Cordero owns the phone, and can be heard instructing the child throughout the video.
Police seized the phone and about 10 ounces of pot, drug paraphernalia and clothing they say belonged to Cordero when they searched a car involved in a shooting on Feb. 15.
Tenn. police arrest man for paying with real $50
SHELBYVILLE (AP) - Tennessee police are apologizing after arresting a man for using a $50 bill they thought was fake but turned out to be real.
A convenience store clerk called police after a marker used to detect false money didn’t show the bill was real.
Police arrested Lorenzo Gaspar…but he insisted that the money was legitimate.
Police brought the bill to two separate banks. Each said that Gaspar’s bill was real…just very old. They said some old bills don’t react to the markers.
Gaspar was released from jail and police apologized to him.
Drunk grandparents tow child in toy car
Sarasota, Florida — Two loving grandparents are facing numerous charges for giving their child a tow in a toy plastic car from behind their SUV.
According to the arrest report, an on patrol deputy spotted the SUV pulling a Hot Wheels car with a 7-year-old girl inside. The toy car was connected to the real one with dog leashes tied to the trailer hitch.
The little girl had on a bathing suit, and no protective gear.
49-year-old Paul Berloni, whose license had been suspended for 10 years for DUI, admitted to drinking and smelled of booze. He refused a field sobriety test and was placed into custody.
The woman riding in back, 47-year-old Belinda Berloni, was also reportedly intoxicated and told the deputy that while she knew it was dangerous to drag the toy car, they were “just having fun and had been doing this all day.”
The child’s father was called to the scene and was reportedly became very upset when he learned what happened. He reportedly said to his mother, Belinda, “Are you f—ing stupid? You should know better!”
Investigators say the child was unharmed in the incident.
Miller Lite: For shotgunning
They say its to “pour more smoothly…” but lets be honest. The only reason you would punch a key through you beer…is to shotgun it.
Let’s see how long it takes before regulators and state senators scream about the company encouraging binge drinking. I give it two months.