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What shaped 2010?

2010, is it over yet? Then why don’t we have an iPad? It’s all so very confusing.

2010, is it over yet? Then why don’t we have an iPad? It’s all so very confusing.

Well, in any case, we made it! And we’re mostly intact, which is surprising considering the huge amounts of hate, fear and anger wielded in the media and among the commonality. Gods, this is the year that we finally got health care, and all we can really think to talk about is how much we despise one another. Welcome to America, people.

There were some high points, however. Almost nothing bad can be said about Paul the Psychic Octopus. And if you’ve just thought of something, keep it to yourself, because he died.

Apple iPad
We hate to be seen as shilling for Jobs, but, despite the fact that Apple has yet to send one over to the Metro offices (c/o Brayden Simms, please), this year was dominated by this new tablet device. Some complain the iPad is part of Apple’s continuing dumbing-down of mainstream computer users, while others just say: “Shut up, check this junk out!”

Health care
President Obama really pinned his whole administration onto the sweeping health care reform legislation signed into law on March 23. Some people were into it, and a very vocal portion of the country really, really hates it — and will stop at nothing to destroy it. If anything, this legislation simply represents the ongoing polarization of the nation; so we guess it’s pretty good that it’s around, so we’ll be covered when we finally decide to tear each other apart once and for all.

Paul the Psychic Octopus
The world will probably never again become so enamored with a supposedly clairvoyant cephalopod; but then, never before has one been so astonishingly accurate at predicting soccer matches. The World Cup is over, and Paul has since died, but it was a fun ride.

Just about everyone threw a rally this year, and thank goodness — how else would we have come to realize just how much we hate each other? Glenn Beck gathered the Tea Party in Washington in the name of restoring honor; a couple months later, John Stewart and Stephen Colbert teamed up to restore sanity — and/or fear. In the end, it all boiled down to fierce arguments over whose rally netted the largest crowds, and we were more divided than ever before. America!

Russian spies
This year we discovered to what extent our country has been infiltrated ... blah blah blah ... have you seen this girl? Anna Chapman stole our secrets and then stole our hearts. Russia never seemed so warm.

‘Don't ask, don't tell’
President Obama said he wanted to end the military policy forcing gay soldiers to lie about their sexuality, so of course the right was all over that. In September, the Republicans blocked the repeal bill. Then along came Sen. John McCain, who proved to everyone just how old he truly is; perhaps he merely forgot that his presidential campaign had come to a close. Eventually the policy was repealed. Hey gays, you can die for us openly now!

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