When was the last time you broke the law?

 

If you’re like the average Brit, it was probably the last time you got into the car: Running a red light, texting, speeding, not wearing your seatbelt, parking in the handy handicapped spot, or bumping into someone’s car and skulking away from the scene of the accident without leaving contact info.

 

Nor is the average Brit’s criminal activity restricted to the automobile. In a recent gocompare.com survey of 3,000 ordinary felons, 28 per cent admitted to taking drugs and another 34 per cent confessed to having sex in public — no word on whether or not they were wearing their seatbelt at the time.

 

The not-so-veddy proper British break the law an average of 21 times per year. When they’re not having sex in public (probably in their cars, where they appear to do everything but drive), they’re downloading illegal music or failing to pick up after their pooch.

 

Here in the colonies, it can’t be much better. Because in England, everyone is jammed together; there’s a surveillance camera every six feet, and if you even think about breaking the law, they’ve got you on video.


Here in the New World, there’s plenty of wide open space to evade detection.


Speaking of confessions, I’m probably guilty of every violation on the survey, although I can’t remember the last time I had sex in public and don’t know how to download music illegally (without getting a virus). But the spirit is willing.


There’s comfort in numbers. According to the survey, 79 per cent of Brits violate the speed limit. And that’s only because traffic is bad.


Are people getting worse or are there just too many laws? The spokesman for the survey company thinks Brits are so used to breaking the law on a daily basis they hardly notice. And he thinks it’s much worse than 21 times per year. Most people don’t know, for example, that it’s illegal to ride your bike on the sidewalk or fail to pick up after your cockapoo.


It’s just too easy to break the vast array of unenforceable laws that allegedly govern our behaviour. The solution — to pass more laws in an attempt to bludgeon us into submission just feeds our criminal intent. So it’s kind of hilarious when Stephen Harper says he is going to get tough on crime and we all nod our heads in solemn accord. Right.


And by the way, how many laws did HE break yesterday?