But they should always offer to pay, matchmaker says

I often feel like many of my first dates over dinner end with a high noon standoff: the cheque is placed in the middle of the table, marking the halfway point, as my date and I both reach around into our back pocket or purse for our wallets, quickly sizing up who will be first to find their cash or credit card.

Admittedly, it’s often the guy who ends up paying, and I appreciate it. It’s these gestures that make me believe chivalry is not totally dead — it’s just sometimes a little misguided.

Despite being independent, most women still enjoy being wined and dined and a survey of 3,597 singles by It’s Just Lunch dating service shows most men are aware of this, with 82 per cent of men saying they will pay on a first date.


“At the end of the day, I think women want men to pick up the cheque,” says Nancy Kirsch, vice-president of It’s

Just Lunch, but is quick to add the woman should always offer.

For her, a dinner date is a great way to help both men and women become more attentive to their date.

“Eating is a great way to become a better listener,” says Kirsch. “While you are chewing it gives your date a chance to talk, and vice-versa.”

Lisa Ronis of Lisa Ronis Personal Matchmaking also believes in men showing their chivalrous side.

“On a first date, I think it’s OK if you meet at the restaurant, but I think afterwards the guy should escort the woman home,” says Ronis. “I don’t care if you live on the other side of town. You get in the taxi with her or you get in the car and you drive. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.”

And if date number one happens to turn into date number two, most of the men surveyed would once again show their gallant side and want to pick up their date. But even if he does make the effort to show up at your door, ladies, don’t think that means he should pay for the date.

“Whoever asked the other one out for the second date should be the one to pay,” Kirsch says.

So, ladies, if your date does decide to extend his gracious side, let’s be sure we don’t take it for granted.


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