Housework is the new foreplay.
That’s one of the great concepts presented in the new book, Babyproofing Your Marriage, How To Laugh More, Argue Less, And Communicate Better As Your Family Grows.
But it doesn’t just apply to people with children. Most marriages need a boost in their sex lives at different phases. Now, during the long, dreary months of winter when people tend to work long hours at the office, and start to suffer cabin fever, is also a good time for a boost. And hey, Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.
We all need to find ways to keep up the intimacy because if we don’t, we’ll lose the relationship. People get bored and cranky with the mundane routines of our day-to-day lives. It’s definitely compounded when children are in the picture, but two working partners without kids also have busy lives.
For women, it’s factual — helping her out with chores, picking her up from work on a bad day, planning a night out — these are all forms of foreplay in the sense that they’re pleasing and let a woman know she’s loved.
What about for guys? A foot massage in front of the TV, especially after a hard day, or making him a warm, wonderful dinner — these are also simple ways to say “I love you.” And that’s exciting for men. In fact, just letting a man know that you’re interested in having sex is foreplay. For instance, taking a long, warm bath, preparing yourself for intimacy, going to bed early, wearing a sexy nightgown — all are subtle but sure ways of saying, “let’s have sex tonight.”
Every marriage — and every loving relationship — needs a regular dose of intimacy. And intimacy comes with sex. For me, the most important piece of advice that this book offers, according to one of its co-authors, Stacie Cockrell, is to have sex with your partner at least once a week. It’s as basic a maintenance tip as filling your car regularly with gas.
I don’t happen to agree with the common belief that men need sex more than women. At least, it doesn’t apply to any of the couples I know. Most women I know get more and more sexual as the years progress, and their confidence increases, even after each childbirth. That doesn’t mean they aren’t affected by their exhaustion, and may initiate sex less often, but if their partner wants it, they usually rally to the task.
But sexual appetite aside, when it comes to rekindling romance in a relationship, it’s a two-way street. Take advantage of tomorrow’s Hallmark holiday. Men, besides the usual card and flowers, do something unexpected. Come home early and take over the after-nap/school-dinner-bath-bedtime hour, letting your partner de-stress and pamper herself for the evening ahead.
Women, take advantage of the help, get in the mood with a soothing bath, don some sexy lingerie, and tell your man.
And when alone at last? Have sex! You’ll both enjoy it.