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You may be a prize catch, but if the timing ain’t right ...

Why is it that when I really like a girl, it doesn’t work out, but when I’m only half into it, I’m really successful?

I’m a guy who usually doesn’t have a problem getting women, but recently I met a girl I really liked and after only a couple of dates, she broke it off. This kind of thing has happened to me before. Why is it that when I really like a girl, it doesn’t work out, but when I’m only half into it, I’m really successful? – Quantity Over Quality

Andrea: Dear Q,

I wouldn’t worry too much as you’re already at a distinct advantage over most of your peers: you know what it’s like to be successful in the first place.

You just have to maintain that same mindset and use it when approaching or dating a “high quality” woman.

Tell yourself that she’s just another girl.

If you’re still unsuccessful, break down your behaviour into manageable components: How do you act physically around the girls you really like?

Do you fail to keep eye contact?

Ask the same of your verbal cues. All these little mannerisms need to be corrected to convey the same confidence you would generally have with a girl you’re not as interested in. Good luck!



Claire: Dear Q over Q,

If I knew the answer to your very good question, I’d be rich. We’ve all been there, and let’s face it, we all secretly think we are awesome and above average and how could she not have noticed it?

So, assuming you didn’t embarrass yourself by being too keen and suggesting baby names for your first child together, here’s what I think happened: Bad timing.

The older we get, the more important timing matters, even if you’re the best catch since Brad Pitt.

If you met this girl and the timing is wrong for her, you’re screwed, and not in the good way.

Touch base with her in a month or so, be light and friendly and see where it leads. If not, she loses, and you now have a new criteria to include in your search for the ideal woman.

• Two sisters, 20-something Andrea and 30-something Claire, offer their differing views on your relationship issues.

 
 
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