We begin tonight’s “Orphan Black” with a quick check in with Helena, whose doctors confirm that she really shouldn’t have survived that gunshot wound to the chest, but fade out without learning too much more. Apparently, she was carrying around a weird black and white picture of a baby. Cool, who doesn’t have one of those.
Sarah is still hanging out with Art and discussing clone business. Felix joins them and voices what we’re all thinking: “I can’t believe you let a cop into Clone Club.” Art and Sarah are busy focusing on the religious extremist angle that Art uncovered when Felix gets a call on his cell phone from Kira. Before she can provide too much information, a strange man walks over and hangs up the phone, but Sarah and Art now have enough to go look for her. Felix points out that this is obviously a trap and hands over this season’s clone phones, which are neon green. He gets one, too, of course. Sarah and Felix have a Moment where Felix reassures her that they’re going to find Kira and escape together. It’s nice when the show reminds us that Sarah and Felix are an emotional team as well as clone shenanigans team. Art apparently has nothing to say about the fact that his best source on this whole mess is planning to flee. More great police work from Art.
Can I just say, kudos to the props department and the Aynsley actress (Natalie Lisinska) for just the most Aynsley memorial photo ever at her funeral. Alison is getting the freeze out from the other suburban ladies because they all know she hooked up with Aynsley’s husband. For some reason, Alison has decided to attend the funeral in costume as Audrey Hepburn, but I suppose if people are going to act like jerks to you, you might as well look good. The only people being nice to her are dumb ol’ Donnie and one of her theater friends, who says supportive things and wants to hug it out. Alison responds with the gentle attempt at refusal followed by stiff-backed hug of the lifelong non-hugger. Theory: There is a distinct overlap between huggers and morning people.
Hard to say what the real low point of the funeral is for Alison, between her cruel neighbors and seeing cell phone evidence that Donnie is her monitor. Time for a drink!
Hey, it’s the murderous diner guy from the last episode. He has some opaque religious talk with an older fellow (presumably the leader of their weird sect) in a barn while they lube up and impregnate a cow. I think they want to grab Helena from the hospital, but I might have missed it because of the gross cow business, which, without getting too graphic, required a glove that covered the entire arm.
Cosima, meanwhile, has been called into the principal’s office for helping Sarah break in to the Dyad. Leekie doesn’t really believe she wasn’t involved, but Cosima manages to convince him otherwise, somehow. Delphine does her best kissass routine to keep Cosima out of trouble and also sign her up to work at the lab and points out that Sarah had Leekie fooled too, which Cosima is just a touch too impressed by. That was almost “The Office” levels of awkwardness from everyone involved.
It’s hard to tell at this point what Cosima thinks of working for the Dyad. She’s definitely intrigued by their achievements, but she acts coerced about the whole idea and knows they tried to trick her into signing a bad contract recently, so who knows. Last season she kept willingly getting in over her head because she thought she was smart enough to get out of it, so it’s probably more of the same.
Kira, of course, is no longer at the motel she called from, but moments after Sarah and Art arrive, Cylon Daniel appears. Art goes to question him and tells Sarah to stay put, which has never worked for anyone ever on this show. She finds a trail of Kira’s clothing and follows it, which ends with her getting locked in a car trunk. In a show about clones, the concept that Sarah wouldn’t immediately realize the clothes trail is a trap is one of the less believable things they’ve done.
The guy who put Sarah in the trunk helps her out later and tells her not to get “stroppy,” so I wasn’t too upset when Sarah kicked him in the shins. Mrs. S. appears and stops her from beating him up and takes Sarah on a walk to see Kira, reassuring her that she’s always been on Sarah’s side.
Workplace tours and dance rehearsal
Cosima is getting a tour of the Dyad Institute and keeps making snarky comments about the Dyad’s ugly history and policy of keeping projects compartmentalized so nobody realizes exactly what they’re working on. Leekie shows her to a lab that apparently hasn’t been updated since the 70s, but tells Cosima she can have whatever equipment and personnel she wants in it.
Alison is having just a touch of trouble remembering her dance steps in play rehearsal, and the director does a skeevy breathing exercise with her that involves touching her butt. I’m no biologist, but I’m pretty sure the lungs are a bit higher. She’s very relieved when Felix shows up, and the two of them sneak off together, where she finally confesses to what happened with Aynsley and swears him to secrecy. Felix is very nice about the whole thing, because he’s a swell guy. She wants him to help trap Donnie into revealing his monitor status.
Mrs. S. reveals she’s been hiding out with Kira in a sanctuary house she and Sarah and Felix lived in with they first left the U.K. Sarah recognizes the house and the people in it, and then has a joyful reunion with Kira.
Angie tries to convince Art to reveal what he’s been up to, but he tells her to stay away from the whole thing, especially after she shows him the picture she’s been sent of Helena in the hospital. If you think Angie will listen to that request, then you have been watching a different show. But when she shows up at the hospital, Helena has already disappeared, because the violent diner guy/cow impregnator has her.
Everyone at the farm religious compound talks like a character from “The Village.” The head pastor (and co-cow impregnator) chats with Helena’s old religious order chum Tomas, who has a difference of opinion with him about whether or not Helena is an abomination. The head pastor reveals that Helena’s organs are mirrored and on the opposite side of her body, which is why shooting her in the chest didn’t kill her. According to him, it happens periodically in identical twins, and there’s some heavy-handed metaphorical talk about these types of twins being the yin and the yang.
Sarah gives Kira a tour of the house, pointing out which parts of the house Felix has hit his head on.
Annnnd this time we made it 25 minutes before Felix Butt Time (you can count on these recaps for the important information), always a sign that something delightful is about to happen. He’s painting in his apron and giving Alison tips over the phone about which things to say in front of Donnie to encourage monitor behavior. It pretty much boils down to mentioning Sarah’s name a few times. Success! Donnie takes the bait and follows her to a cemetery, where she is visiting Aynsley’s grave and meeting Sarah…Stubbs, her theater friend. Donnie calls Leekie and explains what’s happening, including which Sarah it is, and Leekie sort of sighs and tells him to hang up the phone, because if you had to supervise Donnie’s spy adventures, that’s probably how you’d react, too. Sarah Stubbs gives Donnie a hearty hello because she’s a trifle oblivious to how weird it is that he was spying on them from behind a headstone. Sarah Stubbs: a Very Accepting Friend.
Yet another failed escape plan
Mrs. S. explains her big escape plan to Sarah. Regrettably, it involves her going with Kira to the U.K. and Sarah and Felix following at an undetermined later point. Unsurprisingly, Sarah is not a fan of this plan, so Mrs. S. throws in a guilt trip about who takes better care of Kira. Sarah breaks out the Project Leda photo her birth mother gave her and tries to get Mrs. S. to admit she knows what it is, but S. claims she doesn’t.
They have a family dinner with Mrs. S.’s old strike friends, where we learn that S. had a bit of a violent revolutionary past involving weapons dealing.
Cosima and Delphine are making a shopping list to update the rundown lab the Dyad gave her. My shopping list would include the awesome dress Cosima has been wearing all episode. They do some cute flirting, and then Rachel shows up to kill the mood. Tatiana Maslany has done an aces job of taking only three episodes to make Rachel seem like the most terrifying character on the show. Cosima helpfully introduces herself as “the real Cosima. Not the one who kicked your ass or whatever.” Rachel gives her a death ray glare and tells Delphine she’ll have to sign a confidentiality agreement now that they’ve met. Gosh, that is exactly what happened at my last job when I met new coworkers.
Rachel proceeds to get her revenge for the ass kicking comment by condescendingly saying, “So. You’re gay,” and then asking Cosima how she’s feeling, a none too subtle jab at Cosima’s mystery lung ailment. She hands over Katja Obinger’s medical records “redacted to the pertinent” and Cosima asks to see the original genome, since the lung problem appears to be a genetic condition. Rachel says the genome is perfect and the problem arises during the cloning procedure. Hey, I wonder if Cosima will keep trying to access that original genome.
Rachel orders her around about her medical condition and then hands over Sarah’s complete genome and tells Cosima to figure out what makes Sarah different. Cosima asks if she means specifically, why can Sarah have a child? This makes Rachel angry, but considering she seems to operate at a continuous barely suppressed rage throughout this scene, it’s hard to know if that’s a touchy issue or if she just hates Cosima providing unnecessary exposition. It kind of seems like she hates all the clones.
Back at Mrs. S.’s Home for Retired Revolutionaries. Sarah takes a moment to take Kira to the side and ask if something is wrong, and Kira comes out with the unexpectedly astute observation that Mrs. S. has some bad secrets. The two of them sneak out of the house as one of the retired revolutionaries explains that their handoff has been delayed. Mrs. S. is immediately suspicious, and while one retired revolutionary runs out to see what Sarah is up to (failing to get an old truck to start), she breaks out some intense fighting abilities and pins an old lady’s hands to the table using a giant knife and a serving fork. Mrs. S. does not fool around.
The guy who ran outside tries to bust into the car, but before he can, Mrs. S. shoots him in the head. She and Sarah share a long moment of eye contact, and then Sarah drives off with Kira.
S. gets the old lady inside to admit she sold them out to the religious fanatics (also known as the Prolethians) and when the old lady asks why these cursed children are so important, S. says they’re Project Leda. Does that mean Felix is also Project Leda? Then she shoots the old lady.
Surely everyone will be fine!
We cut to Felix waiting for his ride, when Alison calls him. She tells him that Donnie is definitely her monitor, and tearfully begs him to come help her, but he apologizes and says he’s leaving with Sarah, and that she should ask Cosima for help. He hangs up, and Alison takes a pill and chugs some wine. Poor Alison. Felix and Sarah and Kira drive off together. Guys, don’t leave a member of Clone Club behind!
Tomas the religious fanatic goes into a barn with the pastor, where there’s some ominous talk about how since Helena is the twin of the clone who could procreate, she might be able to as well. Tomas is horrified by this, and for his troubles, the pastor has his favorite flunky and helpful Helena kidnapper shoot Tomas in the head with a nail gun. Bye, Thomas.
Grade: B+. Sarah, don’t fall for obvious traps.
Follow Lisa Weidenfeld on Twitter @LisaWeidenfeld.