There are very few mascots I’d like to see get loose before a game less than a condor. You know, the bird with the 10-foot wingspan and diet of rotting animal carcasses?
So imagine the fear at the Bakersfield Condors ECHL game this weekend when their mascot, Commie, broke free of its handler and decided to kill everyone in its general vicinity.
Oh, sorry, that’s just what happened in my nightmares.
To be fair, condors only eat dead animals, but there’s a chance I’d die of a heart attack as it flew toward me.
If it wasn’t a 30-pound bird with giant, flesh-tearing talons it would be hilarious that the handler kept slipping on the ice. But that is a huge bird, people.
Good on the team to hold their ground, somewhat, as the giant monstrosity approached them. (Beautiful rendition of the national anthem, by the way.)
Follow Metro New York Sports Editor Mark Osborne on Twitter @MetroNYSports. No animals were harmed in the making of this post.