If I’m Rex Ryan today, I waddle straight into Mike Tannenbaum’s office and demand that within the next two hours he trade Mark Sanchez to Oakland (where all ex-USC quarterbacks go to die) for a 6th round draft pick in 2042 .
No, not because Sanchez sucked eggs again last night against Houston. Not because if I fail to make a drastic move soon my offense will continue to let me down and I will be fired in early January.
No, Rex Ryan would be wise to do this because Tim Tebow proved the existence of the Lord last night.
On his Twitter account yesterday, Tebow wrote, “Looking forward to giving God all the glory in tonight’s 666th Monday Night Football game. Romans 8:37-39”
He followed it up with a so-so backup performance in which he made several cameos and had a nice run of 13 yards.
But once the game ended, things got weird. Really weird. That’s when it was discovered that Mark Sanchez had a QB Rating of 66.6 on the season.
Rex, you don’t need to know anything else. When Tebow predicts within hours that Sanchez truly is the ant-Christ via the number 666, it’s painfully obvious to see.
The Power of Christ now compels you to get the anti-Christ as far away from New Jersey as possible. The Power of Christ compels you to insert Tim Tebow as the starting quarterback for, at least, the rest of your tenure as Jets head coach.
It’s no longer about keeping your job, Rex. It’s about maintaining your soul.
Wrestler CM Punk punches fan
Last night in Sacramento, WWE wrestler CM Punk jumped into the stands to work the rest of an angle with head honcho Vince McMahon.
While Punk was playing it up for the cameras, he was shoved a couple times in the back. He then back-handed one of the fans.
Because this is wrestling, it is currently being debated on whether or not this was scripted.
Reason why it might not be fake: Wrestlers are taught that if a fan ever hits them first, they have full permission to hit them right back. Whenever a fan jumps into the ring, they usually receive a couple of size 14 wrestling boots upside the head.
Reason why it might be fake: CM Punk is currently the biggest heel in WWE. What better way to draw heat than to “assault a fan?”
Pitcher breaks arm at Fenway
What a year at Fenway Park! The Red Sox just wrapped up their worst season in nearly 50 years and now people are breaking their arms on the mound just by throwing a baseball.