Von Miller, urine collector conspired to beat drug test
ESPN broke the news Sunday morning that Von Miller, who is currently suspended six games for a drug violation, didn't actually fail a test, per sé.
Good thing baseball is the only American sport with a performance-enhancing drug problem, right? Right!?
Yeah, not so much, as illustrated by Broncos All Pro Von Miller.
ESPN broke the news Sunday morning that Miller, who is currently suspended six games for a drug violation, didn't actually fail a test, per sé. Initially, he failed a test just for a diluted sample — not an actual positive test for any illegal substance. He was suspended four games per the NFL's PED policy.
He planned to fight the test vigorously, because, well, he just had a diluted sample. Oh, but wait.
Turns out the NFL and the NFL players' association learned that Miller had a diluted test for a reason. He and the urine collector conspired to cheat the test with someone else's urine. ESPN reports the only reason the NFL learned of the collusion was because Miller's "star struck" urine collector was actually in Miami when the specimen was supposedly collected in Denver. Another drug-test collector informed the league that Miller was not, in fact, able to be in two places at once.
Of course, even after the NFL learned this, they still only suspended the guy six games (two in addition to the usual)! The dude wasn't just pulling out a Whizzinator, he was actually cheating with the very guy responsible for the program. How does that only merit a couple more games?
And, by the way, the Broncos sure don't seem to be missing Miller. They've gotten off to a 2-0 start with wins over quality opponents— the past two Super Bowl champions — the Ravens and Giants.
But at least the NFL doesn't have a PED problem, right?
Follow Metro New York Sports Editor Mark Osborne on Twitter @MetroNYSports. He uses only the finest in substitute urine for his drug tests.