Let’s face it, runners are a weird subsect of people. But there are a lot of different types of runners, each weird in their own ways. Comedy writer and runner Mark Remy wrote a whole guide, “Runners of North America,” highlighting the strange habits of various runners — everyone from the Newbie Runner to the Dramatic Weight Loss Runner and the 7-Minute Mile Guy. We created a quiz based on three of the subspecies of runners. Find out which one you are.
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1. Where are you most likely to get your run on?
a. Pounding the city streets with your favorite friends
b. A running club in the park
c. Trails off the beaten-road
2. What do you usually do after a workout?
a. Hit up favorite smoothie bar
b. Shower and collapse
c. Hydrate with a beer
3. Where do you get your running inspiration from?
a. Your Instagram speed is full of #fitspiration
b. Your marathon goal keeps your training on track
c. Mother Nature, man.
4. What’s for breakfast?
a. Grande skim latte
5. What is the last running event you participated in?
a. A 5k charity walk with your squad
b. A half-marathon, to prep you for your next race
c. Cross-country trail run outside of the city
6. Is running a group activity?
a. Absolutely — it’s way more fun with friends
b. Only if the people in it don’t slow you down
7. What do you love most about running?
a. An excuse to buy $80 leggings at Lululemon
b. The feeling of breaking through a period of suffering
c. Connecting with nature
Results: (Excerpted from “Runners of North America”)
Mostly A’s: The Fashion Mag Runner
With her matching sports bra ($54), tech racerback shirt ($48) and crop pants with mesh panels and flat seams in four-way Lycra stretch fabric ($96), the Fashion Mag Runner looks terrific. She runs “a couple times a week,” but most days spends several hours dressed like she’s ready to go for a run.
Mostly B’s: The Elite Runner
As a group, Elite Runners are nearly universally humble and polite. They’re just so good that anyone else can’t help but seem clumsy and slow by comparison. The Elite Runner, tragically, has a comparatively short running lifespan. He or she might expect anywhere from 5 to 10 years of truly peak performance, meaning “years in which he or she can realistically vie for podium spots, paydays and sponsorships.”
Mostly C’s: The Trail Runner
These shy, slender creatures, while relatively small in number, are among running’s most graceful and exotic specimens. Because of their quick reflexes, speed over tricky terrain and instinctive distrust of humans, Trail Runners are difficult to spot and even more difficult to photograph. Sightings in the wild are rare but can be very rewarding.
Follow Emily on Twitter: @EmLaurence