I’m a little peeved, I’ll admit it. Here I’ve been telling all my intrigued friends who catch the show with me that Daniel’s actually dead and this whole series is a flashback. But is he really dead? Of course not! Ah, network television. Let’s back up a bit.
So, my bad, it’s not real-Emily who stole Amanda’s revenge box: It was Tyler. Yay, Tyler’s back! Woohoo? Sidenote: Is it me, or is he lookin’ pretty fine these days? Time away in a mental institution has done his body good. That’s all I’m sayin’. Anyways, he’s holding real-Emily hostage — he’s still a little angry about the whole being-blamed-for-Frank’s-death scheme that fake-Emily set up. Ha, and we thought this whole show was about Emily’s revenge plot. Here we have another!
While real-Emily’s his prisoner, Tyler lets her in on all the secrets in fake-Emily’s revenge box (he had a good look), namely the fact that fake-Emily’s been playing her the whole time. Real-Emily joins team Tyler, for a bit, at least — her alliance returns to fake-Emily after Tyler lets on that fake-Em framed him for Frank’s murder. What’s that phrase, something like “a friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be in the cell next to you”? Something like that? Ah, framing people for murder: That’s what friends are for.
Meanwhile, Daniel and fake-Emily are dreading their “Fire & Ice” engagement party, and Jack accepts an offer to save the children by building a school in Haiti. Charlotte starts abusing prescription pills to cope with the sh*tstorm that has become her life, and Daniel’s gramps realllllly wants him to step in as the new CEO of Grayson Global. Daniel gets a meeting with Takeda, but instead of following his grandpa’s orders to get him to keep his money put, he’s all like, “I’m following my heart and surprising my fiancee with a new life in Paris, so figure your own stuff out. Peace.”
Oh my gosh, so now we finally start to get some answers. Tyler’s all ready to crash the Fire & Ice ball, and he’s got plans to kill Daniel and make it look like fake-Em did it. Why? Oh, that grudge we talked about earlier. At the ball, Emily somehow gets her revenge box back from Takeda, who instructs her to bury her father’s secrets away from here…so haha, the dumb girl goes and buries it in the sand. You would think she’d know better? I don’t have tendencies like Amanda Clarke but I do know that I wouldn’t trust my most prized possession lying around on the beach like that.
Jack’s about to set sail when real-Emily comes running back into his arms — he deserves all the answers, and can she come with him to Haiti? They’re all ready to set sail when she “remembers she has to pay the cab fare” and bolts. Really, she runs because Jack tells her fake-Em’s the only one who rooted for them to be an item. Aw, female friendship wins again! When she leaves, Jack sees he’s got blood on his hands from touching her. What’s up with that? He chases her down in an attempt for answers. Meanwhile, Nolan’s rigged Jack’s boat with his little USB whale camera so he can keep tabs on his whereabouts. But wait! At the party, Nolan tells fake-Em that Jack has set sail. He’s lying, right? Did I miss something? This show can be so confusing.
So at the ball Victoria starts her speech, just like we remember from the pilot, saying how it’s been a quick courtship but that she approves of Amanda, yada yada yada, but, oh, wait, where’s Daniel? Tyler’s pointed a gun at him on the beach! Tyler tells Daniel all about fake-Em’s plan, and then in no time we’ve got shots fired and someone face-down in the sand. Jack’s first on the scene, and real-Emily’s hovered over the body. Jack tells her to get out — she’s caused her fair share of trouble here in the Hamptons — and she hitches a ride with Takeda. Did she kill Daniel? It is Daniel, right? I mean, from Day 1, we’re led to believe it’s Daniel. Victoria’s even screaming “Don’t touch my son!” or something like that. But, alas, when we turn over the body, it’s TYLER! That’s right. They tricked us this WHOLE TIME. Daniel comes out of the shadows, a little bloody and shaken up, but alive and well. Tyler’s the dead one. Damn! So now we have a whole new direction to take with this show. Now that Daniel’s still alive, is the wedding still a go? Previews lead us to believe that things get held up because Daniel’s gonna get arrested for Tyler’s murder. But was it him who did it? What the hell is going on here?