She stabbed him in the back. He tattooed poo on her back. It was a classic story of love gone wrong for Ohioans Rossie Brovent and Ryan Fitzjerald.
Brovent asked that her then-boyfriend and tattoo artist Fitzjerald ink a scene from the Narnia trilogy on her back, according to The Sun. Unfortunately for her, Fitzjerald had discovered that Brovent was fooling around with his best friend behind his back.
In the ultimate act of (permanent) revenge, Fitzjerald instead tattooed a steaming pile of excrement, complete with buzzing flies, right on Brovent’s back.
Now it’s lawyer time! Brovent is suing Fitzjerald for about $100,000 (Is that enough to cover tattoo removal these days?), but she seemingly has no way to press criminal charges against him, since she signed a consent
form prior to getting the fresh ink stating that the tattoo was “at
the artist’s discretion.” Too bad her own indiscretion led to this stinky situation.
How could such a giant poop tattoo go unnoticed during the process? Surely checking the progress in a mirror even once would have cut the artist’s master scheme short. Brovent claims Fitzjerald had a plan in place to prevent her from doing just that.
“He tricked me by drinking a bottle of cheap wine with me and doing tequila shots before I signed it and got the tattoo,” she told The Sun.
Damn those tequila shots, they’ll get you every time! Come on, how many of us have woken up with a tattoo we regretted after a long night of tequila shots and cheap wine? Don’t pretend to be so innocent.
Unfortunately for Brovent though, her tattoo could not be any further from the Narnia scene she originally wanted (which would have been just as ridiculous as a pile of poop, in our opinion).
Is this well-deserved pay-back or does it reek of cold-hearted vengeance?
Update: Turns out this story is downright fake. The Smoking Gun did its research and found no records for Dayton and Montgomery County that list a ‘Fitzjerald’ or ‘Fitzgerald’ as a licensed tattoo parlor operator or employee.
In addition The Smoking Gun reports:
A review of court indices, of course, shows no such civil complaint has ever been filed (either in federal or state court) by “Brovent.” James Druber, administrator of the Montgomery County Common Pleas Court (where Dayton residents file their six-figure complaints), said that he had heard nothing about the purported tattoo lawsuit.
Additionally, a review of the Nexis database turns up no “Rossie Brovent,” or, in fact, anyone with that surname. And a search for “Ryan Fitzjerald” (with or without the middle initial “L”) turns up nobody with that name.
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