Shryne is the saddest app ever made — plain and simple.
Shryne is in its purest form an app for archiving and cataloging photos, messages and other tidbits shared between two people. It can be two best friends, a mother and daughter, or you — and your ex.
For instance, the pre-loaded example that arrives on your screen when you first start Shryne is a fake communication stream between you and a vaguely attractive guy named Connor Hayes.
The two of you look like a still from a Taylor Swift music video.It’s so saccharine not even a hipster clothing catalog would print it in its pages.
“Hey it’s Connor,” Connor texted you on February 3, 2014, no doubt after meeting you serendipitously in a park or quirky coffee shop. “Just…you know..testing to see if you gave me a real phone number.”
“You’re one of the lucky ones :),” you eagerly texted back two seconds later after spending all day waiting for him to text you.
The hope every letter of your response carries on it’s pack is nearlyunberarable.
The rest of the archive catalogs a long and predictable story of dates, flirting, and the inevitable end when Connor ghosts you.
“Hey,” you meekly say on Feb 15, a mere 12 days after he first texted you. The sound of silence of Connor’s silence is deafening.
Shryne, you are a very, very, very depressing app.
What we don’t understand about Shryne is why anyone would want it. If you are a healthy, confident and self-assured person (is that anyone?) why would you want an app to catalog the hope and heartbreak of a relationship for you to relive at you leisure?
Matt Lee is a Web producer for Metro New York. He writes about almost everything and anything. Talk to him (or yell at him) on Twitter so he doesn’t feel lonely@mattlee2669.