Being single is awesome most of the year, but maybe Valentine’s Day is the one time you’d rather stay home than be caught next to a surprise public proposal (ugh, don’t do that). We have another proposal — get out there and enjoy your fabulous self at these singles-oriented Valentine’s Day events in NYC.
Cupid Works It For You
Artistic singles are invited to Cupid Goes Commando at the Refinery Hotel for a Valentine’s Day twist on the traditional Paint & Sip class. No still life of fruit bowls here — guests will be painting a live semi-nude male Cupid, accompanied by live jazz, cocktails (two are included with your ticket), unlimited wine and a decadent chocolate fondue fountain. 6-9 p.m., 63 W. 38th St., $60, universe.com
Try Your Luck (With the Help of Champagne)
Do it like Liz Lemon and don’t let Valentine’s Day make it an awkward night to connect with a new love. OKCupid is taking over Hotel Chantelle for a night of champagne (open bar from 9-10 p.m.), hors d’oeuvres, live music, photo ops and, of course, mingling. Each guest gets a rose at the entrance signifying their status, and a free astrology reading by Jane Of All Trends or Love Language evaluation by LastFirst Matchmaking can help you see your romantic future. 92 Ludlow St., 9 p.m.-2 a.m., $25, eventbrite.com
When You Have Friends Like These…
Celebrate the most fabulous single ladies in television history at Golden Girls Bingo. Watch three episodes featuring some of the greatest shenanigans of Dorothy, Blanche, Sophia and Rose while filling out your card for a chance at winning one of Dorothy’s cupcakes. Devereaux-inspired sequined shoulder pads and other themed outfits are welcome, whether or not Burt Reynolds makes a cameo. 7-9 p.m., 27-16 23rd Ave., Queens, $10, qedastoria.com
Jeers to Love
Hate Valentine’s Day? Broken hearts of all sorts are invited to vent at Books Are Magic with dramatic readings to put love back in its place from authors Molly Rosen Guy, Jessica Ciencin Henriquez, Brooke Williams, Emily Rapp Black and Rachel Fleit. Winc will provide the Lost Poet wine, and you can also get your ears pierced courtesy of Pair Piercing (though, speaking from experience, we don’t recommend making this kind of decision when under the influence of heartbreak). Admission is a $10 suggested donation to Planned Parenthood of NYC. 6:30 p.m., 225 Smith St, Brooklyn, booksaremagic.net
What Is Love?
Take a deep breath and meditate on the nature of love — whether that means loving yourself or opening up to the possibility of loving someone else — with a guided class led by Ko Im inside Modrn Sanctuary’s beautiful Himalayan Salt Room. Build compassion and connect with your deepest self in a 30-minute session, then stay for some mindful, heart-to-heart conversation. Participants also get a special treat: a sugar-free cacao dark chocolate bar sprinkled with Himalayan sea salt from Bulletproof. 8-9 p.m., 12 W. 27th St., $15, eventbrite.com
Laugh It Off
Since starting in 2014, Live @ The Apt has outgrown most New York City apartments, so its latest show is taking over Villain in Williamsburg for a special Valentine’s stand-up comedy show. Sydnee Washington, Brendan Eyre, Yedoye Travis and Samantha Ruddy will find the fun in (and make plenty of fun of) our modern struggle for love, all the sex we are or aren’t having, and that elusive relationship that seems only a swipe away. Doors at 7:30 p.m., 307 Kent Ave., Brooklyn, $10, liveapt.tv
Live Through This
More than anything else, the process of searching for and falling in (not to mention out) of love is embarrassing. Share in the pain of some brave performers at Mortified as they share artifacts from their teenage years (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies, etc.) You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll gain a new appreciation for being single for at least one night. Doors at 6:30 p.m., 635 Hackett St., Brooklyn, $12, must be 21+, littlefieldnyc.com
A Free Pizza for One
Planning to stay in on Valentine’s Day? Swing by Pasquale Jones first, where chef Ryan Hardy has created an off-menu a la vodka pizza that will be given away courtesy of Resy. Just walk up to the take-out window of the NoLita wood-fire pizza restaurant between noon and 4 p.m. (or while the special lasts), where each guest can claim half a pizza — which isn’t really enough to share, so this is strictly treat yo’self territory. 187 Mulberry St.
Who needs love? Not Lea DeLaria, the SAG Award-winning breakout star of Orange Is the New Black as Carrie “Big Boo” Black. But that’s just the latest chapter in her comic, jazz music and theater career. And on Valentine’s Night, she’s saying F*ck Love at Joe’s Pub with the help of Ana Villafane, (Broadway’s On Your Feet), Adina Verson (Indecent) and Tony winner Gabriel Ebert. $35, doors at 9 p.m., 425 Lafayette St., publictheater.org
Mend Your Broken Heart
Unlucky in love? Seek solace at the Queens Library during Broken Heart Week. Pay tribute to endings and open yourself up to new beginnings through heart-mending events like blind dates with books, movie screenings, comedy, concerts, crafting and more. Don’t miss a multimedia presentation on the “passionate and often devastating” love life of Frida Kahlo on Valentine’s Day at the Seaside branch in Rockaway Park. Through Feb. 16, free, multiple locations, queenslibrary.org