Michael Jordan, LaVar Ball, Rob Gronkowski, Beer

Michael Jordan.

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Michael Jordan famously eviscerated all of his old opponents during his Hall of Fame speech a few years back. Not surprisingly, the ultra-competitive Jordan torched everyone’s least favorite dad, LaVar Ball, this week after Ball said that he could beat Jordan in a game of one-on-one.

 

“Maybe if I was one-legged,” Jordan said at his basketball camp. “You got to understand the source. It think he played college, maybe? He averaged 2.2 points a game. Really?”

 

Ball said this to USA Today about Jordan back in March:

 

“I would just back [Jordan] in and lift him off the ground and call a foul every time he fouls me when I do a jump hook to the right or left,” Ball said. “He cannot stop me one-on-one. He better make every shot ‘cause he can’t go around me. He’s not fast enough. And he can only make so many shots outside before I make every bucket under the rim.”

 

 

 

No beer for Gronk

By now you’ve heard that Rob Gronkowski is going all-in on the Tom Brady diet. No tomatoes, no carbs, no fun.

Of course a big part of the Brady diet is “no alcohol,” which could be an issue for Gronk. No. 87 can barely get through a championship parade without doing a few 12-ounce curls and you can’t really say no to a drink in Vegas or on a cruise ship (two of Gronk’s favorite places in the universe).

Brady’s quack doctor, Alex Guerrero, says that for every one alcoholic beverage you drink you have to consume at least three glasses of water to “make up for the cheating,” which means Gronk might have to use the Jim McNally Memorial Restroom at Gillette Stadium like 8-10 times per game this fall. (Original story appeared in the Boston Herald)