1. Winners
LCS?picks?
Answer: Rangers in 7, Phillies in 6
By: Sean Quinn, Metro NY sports editor
Confidence level: * * *
Of course, Michael Young and Josh Hamilton have to show up this series. It’s too bad the Giants’ lineup is so god-awful because their pitching is definitely World Series-caliber.
LCS?picks?
Answer: Yankees in 6, Phillies in 5
By: Mike Greger, Metro Philly sports editor
Confidence level: * *
Simply put, the Phillies are the best team in the majors — and the baby-faced Giants are just happy to be here. The Yankees? Well, they got that October mojo going again.
LCS picks?
Answer: Yankees in 5, Phillies in 4
By: Adam Smartschan, Metro Boston sports editor
Confidence level: * *
It’s almost painful to say it, but the Yankees are going to win the World Series again. Ugh.
2. Losers
Will anyone tune into TBS’s pre- and post-game coverage?
Answer: They’ll give it one last try
Confidence level: * *
The analysts just don’t cut it. Cal Ripken Jr. is a great guy, a great baseball mind, but he’s plain boring. David Wells could be exciting if he’d down a few before going on air.
A.J. Burnett’s ERA, Over/under: 4.50
Answer: Over
Confidence level: * * *
The Yankees: Hey it’s October, everything and everyone changes. Burnett: Plunked two dudes during a simulated game. He’ll get rocked by the heart of the lineup in Game 4, then come out of the ’pen the rest of the way.
Which player has the worst LCS?
Answer: Juan Uribe
Confidence level: * *
Or any Giant not named Buster Posey. Uribe, the Giants’ shortstop, went just 1-for-14 against the Braves. Here’s the meat of the Giants’ order: Huff, Posey, Burrell, Uribe. Now you start to see why they scored just 11 runs in four NLDS games.
3. Pick ’em
Better leader: Ron Washington (Rangers) or Tyrone?Biggums (“Chapelle’s Show”)
Answer: Tyrone
Confidence level: *
Both are admitted cocaine users, but Biggums is the only one with a title (“Fear Factor”). Plus, he’s got Red Bull; the Rangers only sip Ginger Ale (thanks, Hambone).
Worth the price of admission:?Ryan Howard or Josh Hamilton
Answer: Hambone
Confidence level: * * *
We know the likely AL MVP hit just .111 in the ALDS, but he plays great D, hustles out infield singles and steals bases. Howard’s just a slugger. A very likeable one, but J-Hams is far more entertaining to watch.
Best stadium
Answer: Rangers Ballpark in Arlington
Confidence level: * *
Close call. Snorkeling in McCovey Cove is on our bucket list, while the up-close and personal bullpens at Citizens Bank Park are a must for all hecklers. You can’t beat the walk to the park in Texas, though, or Greene’s Hill in center.
4. Get a life
More annoying: Yanks’ pies in the face or Rangers’ antlers, claw
Answer: Pie in the face
Confidence level: * * *
The pies got stale late last season. Texas’ new trend (claw signaled for a solid play, antlers for speed, hustle) is catchy, and we’re in favor of anything that motivates butterball Bengie Molina to steal a base.
Who shaves their playoff beard first: Brian Wilson or Jayson Werth?
Answer: Wilson
Confidence level: *
Wilson is a tatted-up monster who simply can’t stand having the same look as someone else. He might go porkchop ’burns — Rod Beck style.
5. Off the field
Will Derek Jeter suffer from the dreaded girlfriend curse?:
Answer: Yes sir
Confidence level: * * *
Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” Minka Kelly has already cursed his regular season. Wedding bells are ringing too loudly for the game’s best player off the field.
6. Waiting game
What’s happened in the ridiculous amount of time between the LDS and the LCS?
Answer: It’s a long list …
Confidence level: *
» Jenn Sterger received five more pic messages from Brett Favre.
» The Packers just lost two more starters to crippling injuries.
» Tim Lincecum read for, was cast and filmed the part of Mitch Kramer in the sequel to “Dazed and Confused.”
» The Tampa Bay Rays lit a match, started the fire sale and transformed into the 2004 Florida Marlins.
» Alyssa Milano was converted from a Dodgers fan to a Giants fan.
