Playing the Field: Maria Sharapova launches Sugarpova candy

The four-time major-winning tennis star launched a new line of high-end gummy candy Saturday.

No kid! Put down the candy! It's all a lie, it will ruin your tennis career! Credit: Getty Images No kid! Put down the candy! It's all a lie, it will ruin your tennis career!
Credit: Getty Images

 

On the list of dumb athlete endorsements, Maria Sharapova might have just taken the cake. Or is that candy?

 

The four-time major-winning tennis star launched a new line of high-end gummy candy Saturday. I kid you not. And what's worse, it was all her idea.

 

"When the name Sugarpova came about, I loved the energy of it," Sharapova told reporters at the launch Saturday at Tabula Rasa. "When we put it together with candy, I just felt like it was a great opportunity."

 

My mind is beyond boggled by that one statement. Let's break it down:

»Wait, people call you "Sugarpova" as a nickname? Who are these idiots? I want names.

»You "loved the energy" of a nickname? Who talks like that? When did Sharapova become Deepak Chopra?

»If you are unfamiliar with Tabula Rasa Essentials, a shop in Manhattan Beach, Calif., let me break it down for you in two ways. They sell pillows that say "Beach House" for $100. They sell votive candles for over $50 each.

These gummies, by the way, are shaped like Sharapova's lips. I've always found something very disturbing about eating something shaped like lips. I see chocolate shaped like lips at Valentine's Day and I imagine the people that eat them are the same ones who would spend 50 bucks on a candle. Who says, "Pass me some gummy lips"? There is something wrong with these people.

Anyway, I'm apparently in the minority, because people were lined up around the block at the launch. I know because Ms. Sharapova kindly tweeted the photo.


Human beings, you are really disappointing me.

Follow Metro New York Sports Editor on Twitter @MetroNYSports. On a semi-related note, is anyone else disappointed that the holiday candy season, post-Easter, is now over until Halloween?

 
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