When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a hockey player.
Why? Well looking at Twitter legend Paul Bissonnette's feed should give you one pretty good reason why.
Bissonnette plays for the Phoenix Coyotes, but only sparingly. As it says in his Twitter profile, he plays "sort of." Bissonnette is an enforcer whose sole job is to punch guys in the face on ice skates. The 27-year-old has been a healthy scratch in half his team's games.
But that hasn't stopped him from partying off the ice. He and friend Martin St. Pierre, who played briefly for the Columbus Blue Jackets this season, spent the weekend in Vegas.
Just gave my liver a pep talk. Big weekend in Vegas ahead of us. Rule 76 no excuses, play like a champion.
— Paul Bissonnette (@BizNasty2point0) May 25, 2012
And had they not tweeted pictures of it, we naturally would've assumed it was a quiet weekend spent taking in a Celine Dion concert. It wasn't quite of the level of Patrick Kane's debauchery, but they still did pretty well with the ladies.
— Martin St. Pierre (@_M_StPierre) May 27, 2012
That's Bissonnette with the fedora and St. Pierre doing his best stereotypical hockey player impression. I don't know who the girl in the neon green bikini is, but she wins this picture.
You'll also notice every girl in this picture is holding a drink. I'm sure that's just a coincidence.
But don't worry, it wasn't just a day of empty drinking and women. Mr. Biz Nasty found his one true love!
— Paul Bissonnette (@BizNasty2point0) May 27, 2012
At least, I think that's what he meant by "I found the one."
But not to be outdone by another hockey "star" getting all the attention, guess who Bissonnette ran into just one day earlier? Paulina Gretzky! Yes, everyone's favorite pic-tweeting athlete's daughter was involved in the Memorial Day weekend of debauchery too. And she was looking as tasteful as ever.
— Paulina Gretzky (@PaulinaGretzky) May 27, 2012
I just hope Paulina doesn't see that she's not "the one" for Bissonnette.
Memorial Day weekend is over though and like any self-respecting person it was time for Bissonnette to wrap it up and call it a day.
I pee in pools.
— Paul Bissonnette (@BizNasty2point0) May 28, 2012
Stay classy, Biz Nasty. Stay classy.
Follow Metro New York Sports Editor Mark Osborne on Twitter @MetroNYSports. He went ice skating once in his life, fell down and did a very painful split and never stepped on the ice again.