When Rob Gronkowski goes on spring break or to the Playboy Mansion to kill some beers with his bros, that’s funny. And makes for some great Photoshop opportunities.
When coaches and athletes advocate killing and murdering, well, we’re pretty sure our Photoshop would crash — and immediately send a bug report to Roger Goodell.
Enter the Sixers’ Andre Iguodala. The guy Philadelphia loves to hate told Sports Illustrated in a recent interview that you can murder someone, as long as you win a championship first.
“In Philly, it's not about who you are, it's about what you do for us," he said. "You could be the worst person in the world, but if you score a lot of points or win a championship, you can murder somebody.”
Ummm, pretty sure Mike Schmidt never killed anyone. Julius Erving … do rims count? We’ll keep a watch for when Iguodala brings home the Larry O’Brien.
Speaking of killing
Gregg Williams has Iguodala’s back. The former Saints defensive coordinator told his players to “kill Frank Gore’s head” before the Saints played the 49ers last season in the playoffs. “Kill the head and the body will die,” Williams said in a pregame speech.
Our sources tell us Williams is in talks to play Al Pacino’s role in the sequel to “Any Given Sunday.”
Dunking with friends
Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III challenged fellow Baylor star Brittney Griner to a slam dunk contest. “I told him I’m going to dunk on him,” Griner said. For the record, The Lady Bears won the women's national championship last week and became the first team to finish a perfect 40-0.
Which got us thinking of what other elite male vs. female athletic contests we’d like to see. Well, here’s our list:
» Serena Williams vs. Ray Lewis: Serena might be the only female with bigger guns than Madonna — and the booty to match. We’d love to see her and Ray Ray compete in an open-field tackle competition to see who can hit the hardest. And flex the meanest.
» Hope Solo vs. Henrik Lundqvist: The Rangers goalie — and possible Vezina winner — battles America’s sweetheart goaltender in a shootout. First round: soccer balls, on ice. Second round: pucks, on turf. Tiebreaker: strip tease (see Slapshot ending).
» Jennie Finch vs. Ryan Howard: A softball strikeout whiz against Philly’s famed strikeout king. The two duel for an entire at-bat. Who blinks first? When Howard is healthy, of course.
Welcome to the Blake Show
Blake Griffin recently made a guest appearance on Sesame Street. On Wednesday night, he unearthed his inner Cookie Monster and posterized Pau Gasol — not once, but twice. The Spaniard is still looking for his Snuffleupugus.