Bob Hohler's damning piece in today's Globe points fingers at plenty of factors in the Red Sox's historic collapse.
There was Terry Francona's marital troubles and painkiller use, Jason Varitek's aloofness, Kevin Youkilis' negativity, Tim Wakefield's selfishness, the War on Terror and Hurricane Irene.
But most of all, it was chicken.
While the rest of the team was out losing, Josh Beckett, Jon Lester and John Lackey apparently spent their non-pitching days chowing down on takeout chicken in the clubhouse, drinking beer and playing video games. Delicious, but not exactly great for team unity.
And it does beg a bigger question: What chicken was it?
The obvious choice is Popeye's, within a Dustin Pedroia laser of Fenway at 21 Brookline Avenue. And Popeye's serves biscuits, which Hohler specifically mentions. But is that too close? Today's chicken backlash has been pretty extreme. One would guess Lackey, Lester and Beckett might have seen that coming and tried to keep it under wraps.
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Chicken Lou's, on the nearby Northeastern campus, is a dark horse. Good-tasting, inexpensive -- and with an unlimited supply of co-op students to make third-inning spicy fry runs.
KFC is probably out. Though it's probably the best for bulk chicken consumption, there are none terribly close to Fenway.
There's a Burger King (underrated chicken) very close. But the lack of biscuits probably rules that out. And there's just no way three multi-millionaires are going for McDonald's nuggets.
Our favorite pick? Wing-It, down Comm. Ave. Twenty-one wing flavors -- beat that. Sure, it's a hike from Fenway. But baseball games are long, and if you're not pitching, it's not like you have anything better to do.
(Other than, you know, trying to stave off the biggest collapse in baseball history.)