Mark Sanchez has turned himself into the Woody Allen of NFL quarterbacks. Sanchez’s meandering self-analysis and self-absorption now runs on a scale not seen since Woody’s heyday. Though to be fair to Allen, he probably could have thrown the ball closer to the intended targets than Sanchez did on those first two interceptions against the Patriots.

Sanchez’s overly thorough explanations of his picks are more entertainingly horrifying than the actual misflings themselves. Over the summer, everybody was calling the Jets’ high-priced quarterback the real-life Vince Chase. Once the fall hit, though, it’s painfully obvious he’s the old A-Rod.

There is no closer parallel in New York sports. Sanchez is only a rookie, but he already overthinks everything like the veteran, pre-2009 Alex Rodriguez. Only, Sanchez is doing this without showing any of the legendary talent.

It’s like watching Keanu Reeves play Hamlet.


Sanchez tells us he had only one incompletion the last practice before he went 8-for-21 in New England. He categories his interceptions the way Jon & Kate categorize their kids.

“The last two were definitely bad decisions,” Sanchez said. “The first two, I’ve got to put the ball on guys.”

He alternates between false humility and hollow bravado. “I felt comfortable in my throws. If anything too confident.”

This the same guy who tweeted about going to Medieval Times for his “best bday ever!” last week?

Sanchez doesn’t need a script to sound scripted. This is a guy who grew up watching too many news conferences on ESPNEWS, thinking he knows exactly how to act like a quarterback.

Joey Harrington displayed many of these same interview traits while he flopped in Detroit. If that’s not more scary to Jets fans than a trillion “2012” movies, nothing is.

The Knicks saved us from Brett Favre in Gotham II by passing on Allen Iverson last week. No one can save us from A-Rod II except Mark Sanchez.

– Chris Baldwin covers the sports media for Metro.

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