While we all pretend to analyse the endless stomach capacity of American hero and Vallejo, Calif. –bred hot dog eating champion Joey Chestnut tomorrow (3 p.m., ESPN) at the Nathan's Famous contest, let’s keep in mind what it means to be a Real American sports hero.
And let us always keep in mind that we all need to fight for the rights of every man and when it comes crashing down and it hurts inside, you’ve got to take a stand, it does not help to hide.
In honor of the Fourth of July holiday, a look at the Real Americans in sports. Some may shock you, others are less surprising. But make no mistake, at their core, these guys and gals bleed red! You can take your white and blue blood and move to Moscow for all we care!
Flag points: 3 stars, 6 stripes (9)
Leaving your native land in search for a better way of life is uniquely American. Therefore, still being mad at LeBron for leaving Cleveland two years ago qualifies you as a staunch Communist.
Flag points: 2 stars, 4 stripes
Seriously, does it get any more American than FOX TV?
That’s where Andrews is headed after eight years at ESPN and following a very public peep hole scandal.
For years, sports TV viewers were fed real information from real journalists (Will McDonough’s work on the old NFL on NBC comes to mind).
At some point we just wanted hot women over facts. Again, uniquely American.
Flag points: 4 stars, 4 stripes
The Magic center says he was “blackmailed” by Orlando. During the alleged blackmail attempts, he made $80 million. Sounds just like the plotline to an episode of TLC’s My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (the most American show on TV).
Adam “Pacman” Jones
Flag points: 5 stars, 5 stripes
America loves a reclamation project (see James, LeBron above). Well this past weekend we got the biggest bad boy in the history of NFL bad boys, Adam “Pacman” Jones telling NFL rookies that spending $1 million at a strip club in one weekend is not a good idea on paper or otherwise.
Flag points: 4 stars, 5 stripes
As far as women’s sports go, Hope Solo appeals to the widest possible audience. Little girls love her. Parents love her. Creepy old men love her. She’s truly a jack of all patriotic trades.