A totally sane guy on the street told us the world’s ending Saturday. Rapture, Revelation … whatever. What really matters is how this all affects the sports world. What we expect, and what we’ll never see.
Even God hates LeBron James
The King sits just seven wins from his first championship. Since the end’s coming before the finals, it appears he’s taking his talents to the afterlife without a ring.
A weekend with Woods
On the plus side, can we expect Tiger Woods’ hedonism to return with the end times? We can only hope the golfer/cheat has a 24-hour party planned somewhere this weekend. What’s to lose?
No princess in Playboy
She’s done ads and “DWTS.” The next logical step for Erin Andrews would have been a lucrative mag shoot. Stupid Rapture — now the world will never see her pom-poms.
Pacman’s heroic ‘Money’ shot
The one bout that saves boxing, Manny Pacquaio vs. Floyd “Money” Mayweather. Pacman would have won by TKO, “Tyson Punch-Out” style, then revealed a $50M betting ticket he took out on himself. Tweet that, Floyd.
Jimmer Time runs out
The best thing to happen to college basketball since the Fab Five won’t ever get to be the best thing to happen in the NBA. Jimmer Fredette’s game and religion lined up perfectly to be selected by Utah at No. 12 in June’s NBA draft.
Best QB class since 1983
The QB class of 2011 would have had an extra year to prepare because of the lockout. Cam Newton would have learned how to call out an NFL play, Jake Locker would have learned how to slide and Ryan Mallett would have finally been clean after going on one last bender.
