'Whitney': Here's every funny line in last night's premiere

If you hadn't noticed from the posters wallpapered over America's public transportation, television's newest comedic sensation "Whitney" premiered last night!

Following the adventures of America's sweetheart Whitney Cummings, the show is a nod back to TV's classic sitcom traditions -- updated for a modern audience!

In case you missed it -- and boy, do we we mean miss -- we've compiled every single funny line from last night's premiere. Watch it, and get ready for more hilarity next week!