Part of the appeal of the iconic sitcom “Seinfeld” is how most people could relate to the situations in each episode.
Haven’t we all double-dipped a chip?
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Who hasn’t stolen a marble rye from an elderly lady?
Most of us have confused the Moors with the Moops, right? You get it.
Anyway, when word spread that Vance Worley had a severe stomach ache after he pitched against Atlanta last week, all I could think about was the episode when George Costanza had the brilliant idea of ordering cotton uniforms for the Yankees, when he was gainfully employed by George Steinbrenner. Well, the uniforms shrunk and it didn’t work out for the Bronx Bombers, and it was all Georgie Boy’s fault.
Well, I thought that I pulled a Costanza-esque mistake when it came to Worley’s tummy. A week before the ill-fated Braves game, I advised Worley to check out my favorite restaurant in Chinatown since he wanted a good place where he wouldn’t be bugged.
“Not many sports fans frequent the place,” I said. “The food is great. It gives you a huge lift.”
Well, what were the chances that Worley took my suggestion and my restaurant ruined his start?
“I didn’t go to the place you mentioned yet,” Worley said. “I’m going to go there, believe me. But this time it was a place I typically go to.”
The name of the national chain won’t be divulged since it could potentially hire Worley to endorse its product down the line.
“It’s normally reliable, but something was wrong this time,” Worley said. “It was incredible. It hit me a half-hour before game time. I was stretching, and boom!”
Worley insists in all of his years taking the mound, back to little league, he has never had such an experience.
“Nothing like that has ever happened to me before on any level,” Worley said. “I had to gut it out. That’s what athletes do. You can’t quit. You’re in adverse situations. I just did what I had to do.”
Worley didn’t get touched up until the third inning. That’s when Ryan Howard couldn’t haul in a shot down the first-base line. That was the beginning of the end for Vanimal.
“It was one of those games,” Worley said. “I just took my time and walked around the mound a lot. I drank a lot of pedialyte and did my best. The umpires knew something wasn’t right and they gave me extra time to warm up. That just wasn’t going to be enough, but you try your hardest.”
Worley, who has bone chips in his right elbow, is already in enough pain.
“But this was excruciating,” Worley said. “But I lived through it.”
By the next morning, Worley was back to his old self.
“It passed relatively quickly, whatever it was,” Worley said. “I just wished it attacked me when I wasn’t scheduled to pitch.”
That’s the kind of season it has been for the Phillies. Just about everything has gone wrong for Charlie Manuel’s squad. That goes from injuries to bad bounces to Worley’s sour stomach.
“Sometimes that’s the way it goes,” Worley said. “You have to bounce back from stuff like that.”