A couple weeks ago, I spotted her at a too-hip-for-me restaurant. I instantly felt flustered and had to whisper an awkward explanation to my confused dinner companion. Look at her! Her hair is the best and that dress is so cute and she’s in interior design and, Oh my God, did you see her shoes?
Luckily, my friend understood; we’ve all experienced that totally irrational nervousness around a girl crush at one point or another.
Let me clarify, I’m not rethinking my sexuality. I have a girl crush and my feelings are very platonic; it’s a decidedly non-sexual appreciation.
A 2005 New York Times article on the subject of girl crushes describes the phenomenon as the “fervent infatuation that one heterosexual woman develops for another woman who may seem impossibly sophisticated, gifted, beautiful or accomplished.”
That sounds about right.
Girl crushes are those fantastic femmes we put up on a pedestal because they’re just so unbelievably cool. They are the women that design jewelry as a career, never have a bad hair day and can actually wear an on-trend jumpsuit without looking like a plumber.
Evidently, I’ve fallen pretty hard for my own same-sex object of desire. But it’s totally harmless and not at all creepy (I promise). I don’t want to get with her; I just want to hang out, maybe borrow some of her clothes.
The best girl crushes aren’t close friends (that’s just weird) but someone to admire from afar. Celebrities are common subjects for girl-crushing, but personally I am much more likely to develop a thing for a friend of a friend, a girl who rides the bus with me, or (dare I say it) a stranger I stumble upon while browsing a long-lost classmate’s Facebook profile.
Let’s reiterate — I swear this isn’t creepy.
Funnily enough, my boyfriend usually offers a pretty lacklustre response when I point out a girl that I think is oh-so-awesome. While you might assume he’s just trying to be diplomatic, this actually makes a lot of sense. Girl crushes are Girl Hot rather than Guy Hot. Trust me, there’s a difference. Megan Fox is Guy Hot, Alexa Chung is Girl Hot.
Women become enamoured with women who are funky, stylish and successful while men tend to worship … well, body parts.
– Read more of Jessica Napier’s columns at www.metronews.ca/shesays
