Do you guys believe in becoming “one” as a couple or keeping independence?
Kate says…
Both, it just depends on which way you’re facing. When you are facing outwards, as in presenting yourselves to the outside world, you must be a team.
For example, when faced with curious in-laws, he must support you in your plan to avoid feeding your baby wheat, eggs, nuts, shellsh and tahini, and be outraged when his mother tries feeding her Kraft Dinner, even if he thinks you are a little bit crazy when it comes to infant nutrition.
In turn, you must act like his recent purchase of a $4,000 plasma TV is perfectly normal, even when your nancial adviser wonders whether an RESP for the baby would have been a wiser choice.
When you are facing inwards toward each other, you must ght hard to maintain your independence. Stand up for what you believe! There is no worse turnoff than the words “Yes, dear.” They mean you just don’t care enough.
Bret says…
Okay. So, if saying “Yes, dear” is a turnoff, it follows that saying, “No, dear” is hotter than magma. From now on, I am totally giving up on being nice. Disagreeable but frequently laid! Woo!
Do opposites really attract?
Bret says…
That really depends on what you mean by “opposites.” If you mean you’re in love with an uptown girl, and now she’s looking for a downtown man, and that’s what you am, then by all means go for it. It is a classic combination: uptown girl + downtown man. Remember Julie Andrews — hot, hot, hot as the rened, elegant, practically perfect Mary Poppins.
Remember how radiant she looked on the arm of grubby Bert the chimney sweep? Kick your knees up, step in time! “It’s a jolly ’oliday with Mary. It’s a jolly holiday with you, Bert.” Aw.
They were excellent together. They taught us a lesson about love and how it totally conquers all. We owe them a debt of gratitude.
Kate says…
First of all, I’m pretty sure Bret’s view of Mary Poppins as “hot, hot, hot” is his alone, but we’ll leave nanny fantasies for another column. I think couples like to think of themselves as opposites. Many announce that they are as a way to say, “Sure we’re joined at the hip, but we still have our own brains.”
These conversations are held for the benet of other couples or for single friends who nd the couple’s new togetherness revolting. Mostly these conversations are about whether one member of a couple will eat shellsh or does/doesn’t like Desperate Housewives.
The notion of “opposites” is exaggerated just ever so slightly, as the holders of these conversations often wear matching Eddie Bauer khakis, nish each other’s sentences and go on to rave about Spanglish, which, mysteriously, they both loved. This is harmless, if irritating for the listener.
