Patriots-Jets in real time:
8:32-Tom Brady gets pressured on the 1st play of the game and throws it into the ground with nobody around: intentional grounding plus a loss of downs.
8:33-6-yard run for Stevan Ridley.
8:34-Julian Edelman gets 8 yards on a quick hit pass but the Patriots go 3 and out on their first possession.
8:35-Would you look at that, New England blitzes on the 1st play and Dont’a Hightower takes down Mark Sanchez for a 6-yard sack.
8:35-11-yard run for Shonn Greene.
8:36-Sanchez’s pass to Clyde Gates on 3rd down is incomplete and the Jets do the same thing as the Patriots: 3 and out followed by a punt.
8:37-30-yard punt return by Edelman gives New England decent field position: their own 36.
8:38-9-yard run for Ridley then a 5-yard run for a 1st down.
8:40-Welcome back Aaron Hernandez! 28-yard catch for him featuring his usual spectacular run after the catch.
8:41-Incomplete to Welker on 3rd down, Brady put it too far ahead of him.
8:42-Stephen Gostkowski is in a giving mood, he misses a 39-yard field goal. Feels like he misses one every game now, not good.
8:45-Encroachment on Vince Wilfork.
8:46-Greene bursts up the middle for a 15-yard run, that hole was huge.
8:47-7-yard catch for Jeff Cumberland, 1st down Jets.
8:49-Holding on Jermaine Cunningham, this has not been a good drive for the Patriots defense.
8:50-Haha classic Sanchez, he throws an awful interception right to Steve Gregory. It wasn’t even close to the intended Jets receiver.
8:54-5-yard penalty on the Jets for too many men on the field, 8-yard run by Danny Woodhead gives the Pats a 1st down.
8:55-Nice play by LaRon Landry to break up a pass for Welker then a 9-yard run for Ridley.
8:56-7-yard rush for Shane Vereen, another Patriots 1st down. 5-yard catch for Welker. Bart Scott crushes Ridley for a 1-yard loss.
8:58-Neutral zone infraction on the Jets.
8:59-6-yard run for Ridley; he picks up a 1st down with a 3-yard gain on a quick snap.
9:01-12-yard run by Vereen plus 10 more yards thanks to a face mask penalty makes it 1st and Goal.
9:02-4-yard run by Vereen will put it at the 3, 3rd and Goal.
End of 1st quarter: Patriots 0, Jets 0 but New England is very likely to put some type of points on the board in the next play or two.
9:05-Brady has all day to throw and he finds Welker uncovered in the corner of the end zone. 7-0 Patriots. Hell of a drive: 15 plays, 84 yards, 6:01.
9:10-Supremely awkward segment with Sanchez and Brady saying what they are thankful for. How cute, if only your grandparents were still awake to see it.
9:12-14-yard catch for Bilal Powell.
9:12-5-yard run for Powell.
9:13-Powell keeps getting the ball, 3-yard run for 1st down.
9:15-5-yard catch for Cumberland.
9:15-Jerod Mayo stuffs Powell on 3rd down. Haha Jets go for it on 4th and 1, Greene looks like he wasn’t going to make it and he held the ball out which caused it to get popped loose. Gregory recovers it at New England’s 17.
9:19-Wow, Brady hits Vereen on a simple out and he goes 83 yards down the sidelines for a TD. 14-0 Patriots, what a momentum swing.
9:23-11-yard catch for Gates.
9:23-Mercy, Sanchez messed up a handoff then ran right into the back of his own lineman-Brandon Moore. He fumbled it and Gregory picked it up and ran for an easy 32-yard TD return. You can book him for AFC defensive player of the week, he already has an interception and two fumbles including a TD. 21-0 Patriots, the Jets look beyond awful.
9:27-Joe McKnight fumbles on the ensuing kickoff after getting hit by Devin McCourty, it pops up in the air to Edelman who runs it back 22 yards for another score. 28-0 Patriots in the blink of an eye.
9:31-3 TDs in 52 seconds for the Patriots. 7-yard catch for Konrad Reuland.
9:32-10-yard run for Greene; 5-yard run for Greene.
9:33-This is hilarious, while the miserable Jets fans cheer for Tim Tebow (remember him?), Mayo blitzes untouched up the middle and sacks Sanchez on 3rd down.
9:36-12-yard catch for Brandon Lloyd.
9:36-6-yard run for Ridley and New York’s best defensive player Muhammad Wilkerson goes down with an injury. What else can possibly go wrong for the Jets?
9:39-Poor Fireman Ed is cold and all alone on Thanksgiving, who could have predicted that? Oh that’s right, everybody.
9:41-Is this real life? 56-yard TD catch for Edelman. 35-0 Patriots with 3:08 left in the 2nd quarter. New England has scored 35 points in this quarter!
9:43-5-yard catch for Kerley.
9:44-12-yard catch for Keller then an 8-yard catch for him.
9:48-7-yard catch for Cumberland, 1st down.
9:50-6-yard run by Greene, 1st down.
9:51-Alfonzo Dennard almost picked one off, nice play to break up a pass on the sideline to Gates.
9:52-9-yard catch for Gates, Kyle Arrington almost knocked him out with a blindside hit over the middle.
9:54-Jets go for it on 4th and 1, Stephen Hill makes a 7-yard catch. Awful clock management by New York, no timeouts left and they didn’t hurry to the line so they have to settle for a field goal with seven seconds left. New York is on the board, haha 32-yard field goal for Nick Folk. That leads to more boos and no joke, a guy in a turkey outfit in the stands yelling at somebody on the Jets sideline. ‘Tis the season! 35-3 Patriots with two seconds left in the 1st half.
Halftime: Patriots 35, Jets 3. What a beating, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a quarter quite like the 2nd in an NFL regular season game. I almost feel bad for the Jets, they are so pathetic. Oh well, maybe they should have running time in the 2nd half or 10-minute quarters.
10:14-2-yard loss for Greene on the 1st play of the 2nd half.
10:15-10-yard catch for Kerley; 1-yard catch for Kerley and the Jets have to punt on 4th and 1.
10:20-19-yard catch by Welker on 3rd down. Time to pad your fantasy stats boys.
10:21-8-yard catch for Hernandez. Up 35-3, Brady runs a quarterback sneak for a 1st down. Moving on.
10:22-Whoa, Edelman gets absolutely lit up by Landry. He fumbled and Eric Smith recovered it, Julian definitely has no idea where he is right now. Scary hit since it was helmet to helmet.
10:25-21-yard catch for Dustin Keller.
10:26-Kerley with a nice gain, he fumbles it (after a hit by Gregory) but recovered it.
10:28-Looked like Chaz Schilens caught a 6-yard TD but the refs ruled he didn’t have control. New York is challenging the ruling on the field.
10:30-No catch, good call. He pinned the ball to the turf.
10:32-Encroachment on Spikes gives the Jets 1st and Goal from the 3.
10:33-Arrington breaks up a sure TD for Keller in the end zone. Guess he’s feeling alright after that hard hit.
10:34-The Patriots get a goal-line stand as Sanchez got taken down at the 1 by Spikes then Greene was stopped for no gain on 4th down.
10:37-A chop block by Ridley with Brady back in his own end zone gifts two points to the Jets. 35-5 Patriots, of course.
10:40-39-yard catch for Cumberland, Hightower had no chance to stop him in coverage.
10:40-14-yard run by Powell.
10:41-11-yard catch for Kerley, who comes up barking since McCourty’s helmet touched his.
10:42-Holding on Spikes, who had to cover Kerley in the middle. Here come the Jets (not really), 4-yard TD run for Powell. 12 straight points for New York and they’ve cut it to 35-12.
10:47-8-yard run for Ridley. 2nd time already in this game that the normally perfect Al Michaels has shamelessly told the audience to stick around. Is this PBS or something?
10:48-6-yard run by Ridley.
10:49-Incomplete to Hernandez, even in a blowout the Patriots receivers are getting zero separation from the Jets secondary.
10:50-24-yard catch for Daniel Fells.
10:51-Now I’ve seen everything, Lloyd made a catch and had a chance to go out of bounds (like always) but instead he ran for a 9-yard gain. More of those please, Brandon.
End of 3 quarters: Patriots 35, Jets 12. I know it won’t happen but I’d love to see a TD here so that Brady and Co. get an extended rest. I must be delirious from all the turkey I’ve consumed in the past two days.
10:55-4-yard run for Ridley, 7-yard run for Ridley, 7-yard run for Ridley, 8-yard run for Ridley. Very impressive, he must be tired now.
10:57-A TD catch for Hernandez is called back for offensive pass interference (he pushed off). Even worse, Brady got hit hard by Bryan Thomas.
10:58-8-yard catch for Vereen, who broke a tackle from Landry (not something you see every day).
10:59-Brady gets in with a 1-yard TD sneak. 17 plays, 87 yards, 7:39. 42-12 Patriots lead, time to take him out!
11:04-The turnovers continue for the Jets, Schilens makes a catch but Dennard rips it loose. Rob Ninkovich recovers the fumble.
11:05-28-yard catch for Welker puts Brady over 300 yard tonight (304).
11:06-9-yard TD run for Ridley, who is untouched. 49-12 Patriots. Remember when the Jets made that great comeback?
11:09-Personal foul on the Jets backs it up to their own 10 after a kick return.
11:13-10-yard catch for Kerley.
11:15-Jets punt it down 37, why I couldn’t tell you.
11:17-7-yard run for Vereen and 5-yard run for Vereen. FYI, Brady is still in there.
11:18-3-yard loss for Vereen, 8-yard catch for Welker.
11:20-16-yard catch for Woodhead.
11:21-Michaels and Cris Collinsworth openly wonder why Ryan Mallett isn’t playing yet. I hear you fellas, this is pointless and dangerous.
11:24-9-yard catch for Sanchez, who gets blasted by Justin Francis. No worries Jets fans, he’s staying in there.
11:24-36-yard catch for Kerley for falls down or else he might have been gone.
11:24-22-yard catch for Keller, Sanchez is racking up the garbage time stats.
11:25-Personal foul on Dennard, whose forearm went right to Schilens’ head.
11:27-1-yard TD catch for Keller. Jets are within 30, 49-19 Patriots.
11:29-Sound the Mallett alarm! With 2:18 left in regulation, he finally sees the field. Not a second too soon I might add.
11:34-After a couple kneel downs by Mallett, New England punts and McKnight runs for 6 yards on the final play of the game.
Final: Patriots 49, Jets 19
It wasn’t even that close, New England could have won by 60+ if they kept their foot on the pedal. They have won five games in a row to basically clinch the AFC East. It seems like 10 years ago when all four teams in the division were 3-3. Now they get some extra rest before their first meeting with the Dolphins, next Sunday (1 p.m.) in Miami. The postgame with Brady, Gregory and Wilfork eating some nasty turkey legs was gold. I’m sure it’s already up on Deadspin and YouTube. Unintentional comedy at its finest.