‘Winners and losers of airline food’
CHICAGOTRIBUNE.COM, DEC. 2
Winners: Airline execs.
Losers: Everyone else.
‘President Obama on “Mythbusters”’
LATIMES.COM, DEC. 8
This week: The Democratic Party is really just a coalition
of animatronic stuffed animals and cast-off handbags.
‘Mayor vows to save Christmas from squirrels’
NEWS.BOSTONHERALD.COM, DEC. 4
Those fell beasts won’t quit ’til they’ve forever
slain their mortal foe, The Nutcracker.
‘Cards to deal with drinkers?’
THEMERCURY.COM.AU, DEC. 6
‘Merry Christmas, darling. Stop puking on your Aunt Barb.
Love, your Aunt Barb.’
‘US to host World Press Freedom Day’
GOOGLE.COM, DEC. 8
Good trolling, Google, but China would have been funnier.
‘Snoop Dogg defends Willie Nelson’
BLOG.SEATTLEPI.COM, DEC. 7
He must be a big country fan.
‘Teen accused of selling laxatives at Sydney dance party’
SMH.COM.AU, DEC. 6
Don’t eat the brown acid?
‘‘Throat of Fire’ erupts in Ecuador’
CNN.COM, DEC. 4
Just another day for South America’s No. 1 gay porn star.
‘Nearly naked man arrested in Lake View’
CHICAGO.CBSLOCAL.COM, DEC. 4
Lake View isn’t all, eh?
‘Bus driver’s agony: “I saw hair flying”’
STUFF.CO.NZ, DEC. 4
We didn’t much appreciate the _____________ either.
Finish the caption! Send suggestions via Twitter to GLORXXatMetro and we’ll put the best in this space next week. Some examples:
‘impromptu bikini wax’
‘no-shirt policy of Jewish
superhero UberMensch’
‘Guns n’ Roses sex tape’