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The Week That Was – Metro US

The Week That Was

‘Whale may have scoliosis’
MAUINEWS.COM, FEB. 12
Cry me a river, humpback.

‘Thief takes frozen meat from Taco Bell’
ONLINEATHENS.COM, FEB. 13
Correction:?Thief takes frozen 35% meat from Taco Bell.



‘Man bags could cause health problems’

NEWS.COM.AU, FEB. 16
Is shame a health problem?



‘Why isn’t Wall Street in jail?’

ROLLINGSTONE.COM, FEB. 16
Why isn’t Washington?



‘Thieves steal man’s leg’

CNEWS.CANOE.CA, FEB. 15
Truth is stranger than fiction, but Flannery O’Conner trumps truth by a mile.




‘Baby bong photo: Lawyer says it wasn’t a bong?’

WTSP.COM, FEB. 16
It was just a water pipe, your honor!



‘RoboCop fans raising money for statue in Detroit’

MLIVE.COM, Feb. 10
Thank you for your self-deprecation.



‘Cursive still an important lesson in Iowa City schools’

PRESS-CITIZEN.COM, FEB. 12
This kind of lesson comes with a moral and ends in regret.



‘When is it acceptable to discriminate against evolution sceptics?’

GUARDIAN.CO.UK, FEB. 16
In daily conversation.

“Don’t mix metaphors: Never make reservations at Indian restaurants.”

“I took LaVar Burton’s word on a book once. … Once.”

“I just don’t care what you think you’ve read
into my waving-hands-in-the-air body language.”