Radiant new mama Beyonce was back on the stage for a four-night engagement at Atlantic City’s Revel casino over the holiday weekend, and she didn’t forget to pack her signature assortment of sparkly two-piece bodysuits and sky-high heels. But the singer admits it wasn’t easy to get in beach shape by Memorial Day weekend.

“Y’all have no idea how hard I worked,” she told her audience — which included Michelle, Sasha and Malia Obama — during her Saturday evening performance. “I had to lose 60 pounds. They had me on that treadmill. I ate lettuce! Now tonight I’m going to get chocolate wasted.”

Now, we always thought the rumors that Beyonce hired a surrogate and faked her pregnancy were crazy (unless it was a particularly slow gossip day). But can you imagine this lady at a gym or eating anything as lowly as lettuce? If she is, in fact, human, we’re having a hard time believing Beyonce had a baby in January.

Bieber accused of battery

Justin Bieber may have finally had enough. The singer is a suspect in a criminal battery case after getting into a “physical altercation” with a paparazzo in Los Angeles on Sunday afternoon, according to the police report. The “victim complained of pain and requested medical attention” and was released shortly after being taken to the hospital.

We’re curious: Is there enough money in Bieber’s bank account for you to admit that his baby-soft hands were capable of inflicting pain?

Kim Kardashian has a baggage claim

After returning home from the Cannes Film Festival, Kim Kardashian wasn’t pleased to discover that not all of her luggage made it back to Los Angeles safely.

“Very disappointed in British Airways for opening my luggage and taking some special items of mine! Some things are sentimental and not replaceable,” she tweeted.

Not cool, guys — those kitten-lined Uggs were made just for Kim by Satan himself.

The Biel fairytale continues

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel celebrated their engagement over the weekend with friends including Lance Bass, JC Chasez, Ellen DeGeneres, Portia DeRossi and Amy Adams, according to Us Weekly.

As for Bass, he’s happy that his old ‘N Sync friend is settling down with Biel. “She has always been one of the guys,” he tells the magazine. “She’s like a best friend. It’s like hanging out with a best friend.”

Does this mean she gets to fill in for Joey Fatone on the “Bye Bye Bye” dance? This chick is one step away from driving the Barbie convertible of my dreams.