On Tuesday, Life & Style reported that Scientology escapee Katie Holmes is dating Jamie Foxx.
“Katie and Jamie have been dating for a while,” a source told the magazine. The two were caught holding hands and dancing together in August in the Hamptons, and now Foxx has been spending time at Holmes’ New York apartment. “They’re very ‘Mission: Impossible’ about their romance,” the source said.
But hold that juicy speculation, friends! Foxx told “Entertainment Tonight” that same night that the rumors are “hilarious.”
“[The rumors] are 100 percent not true,” he said.”In fact, it’s quite hilarious.”
But what if they really are dating and Foxx is just trying to cover his tracks? Can you imagine that conversation?
ACT 1 SCENE 1
Holmes and Foxx are being very “Mission: Impossible” in Holmes’ New York apartment by closing the blinds, watching “House” while donning hoodies, and listening to the franchise’s theme song.
HOLMES: But why did you have to say it’s “hilarious”? Do you think people think the possibility of dating me is a joke?
FOXX: No, baby! I didn’t mean it. I just wanted to throw people off our tracks.
HOLMES: But hilarious? Why is that so funny? I was on “Dawson’s Creek,” for crying out loud. I’m a household name.
FOXX: Baby! It was “Entertainment Tonight.” Fighting their journalistic integrity is impossible. They had me against the wall!
HOLMES: (Rolls eyes) Can we shut off that music already? It is driving me insane.
Foxx turns off the theme music. Frowns a bit.
FOXX: Why does every hero of a franchise have to be white? Why can’t it be a black man? I’m taller than Tom Cruise, dammit.
HOLMES: I know you are, baby. It’s so nice to wear heels again, even if it is just in the house since you never take me to any red carpet events ever.
FOXX and HOLMES kiss.
FOXX: Next red carpet, you’ll be my date, you sexy ex-Scientology robot, you. Now, let’s scale the side of this building. Show old Tommy that he’s not the only one who can be Ethan Hunt.
Foxx turns theme music back on.
HOLMES: (Donning ski mask) I thought you’d never ask!