Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are apparently ridiculously indulgent parents, and the Times is on it! Their teenage offspring, Jaden and Willow Smith, sat down with the New York Times’ T Magazine to talk about their music, creativity in general, energies, philosophy — really, all sorts of things that reinforce why giving teens a platform to pontificate is a bad idea. But it’s too late, they were given the platform, so let’s all take a moment to bask in the pretension:
“Honestly, we’re just trying to make music that we think is cool. We don’t think a lot of the music out there is that cool. So we make our own music. We don’t have any song that we like to listen to on the P.C.H. by any other artist, you know?” — Jaden
“That’s what I do with novels. There’re no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing.” — Willow
On time and relativity:
“It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year.” — Jaden
“I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.” — Willow
“Kids who go to normal school are so teenagery, so angsty…You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver’s ed? What’s up? I still haven’t been to driver’s ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can’t see how driver’s ed is really helping them out.” — Jaden
“I went to school for one year. It was the best experience but the worst experience. The best experience because I was, like, ‘Oh, now I know why kids are so depressed.’ But it was the worst experience because I was depressed.” — Willow
On life goals:
“I have a goal to be just the most craziest person of all time. And when I say craziest, I mean, like, I want to do like Olympic-level things. I want to be the most durable person on the planet.” — Jaden
“I think by the time we’re 30 or 20, we’re going to be climbing as many mountains as we can possibly climb.” — Willow
Neil Young, rock’s resident cranky uncle, is boycotting Starbucks over a lawsuit challenging Vermont’s new genetically modified food labeling law. “I used to line up and get my latte every day, but yesterday was my last one,” Young writes on his Web site. “If we can generate enough attention, we can push Starbucks to withdraw its support for the lawsuit and then pressure other companies to do the same.” A spokesman for Starbucks, however, claims Young is off-base. “The petition claiming that Starbucks is part of this litigation is completely false and we have asked the petitioners to correct their description of our position,” a company statement reads. Is it weird that I lost a little respect for Young when he admitted he drank lattes from Starbucks everyday? I mean, that just doesn’t sit right.
Now that Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter have finished quietly announcing their engagement with his devoted female fans calling for her death, it’s safe to take a victory lap in public. Cumberbatch and Hunter made their first shared red carpet appearance this week at the New York premiere of his new film, “the Imitation Game.”
Of course, Benedict Cumberbatch isn’t the only young Internet-friendly British actor ready to tie the knot. “The Theory of Everything” star Eddie Redmayne, in fact, will be a married man before the year is out. “It’s coming up fast, before Christmas,” he tells me of his impending nuptials with fiancée Hannah Bagshawe. Of course, he’s been a bit busy, what with the ongoing Awards Season campaign for his portrayal of Stephen Hawking. “It’s been a lot of me on FaceTime going, ‘Yes, whatever you want, that looks nice,'” he admits.
Sorry, Betty White fans. TV Land has officially given the ax to its first original series, “Hot in Cleveland,” which just started its sixth season. Seriously, did you know it had been running for six season? Weird. Anyway, the show’s stars were understandably bummed about the news. Valerie Bertinelli, for example, posted this quote by Shel Silverstein: “There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part. So just give me a happy middle and a very happy start.”
Ok first of all, you #HotinCleveland fans are totally awesome…secondly, next April, we’re going out in a blaze of glory!
— Wendie Malick (@WendieMalick) November 18, 2014
— Jane Leeves (@JaneLeeves) November 17, 2014
As of press time, Betty White hadn’t tweeted since this season’s premiere two weeks ago. Which is maybe part of the problem.
Ah, Disney hits and critically acclaimed TV drama — two great tastes that taste great together. The good people at Animeme have created the most delightful of mash-ups, “Do You Want to Build a Meth Lab?” The song — and accompanying animation — blends “Frozen” and “Breaking Bad” in such a seamless way that you’d think they told the same story. Beware, though: MAJOR “Breaking Bad” spoilers contained within.
Follow Ned Ehrbar on Twitter: @nedrick