Ellis Henican

Trump’s America: The state of the union is … graded on the Trump curve

Tuesday night, with everyone watching, Donald Trump gets to inform the American people — again! — just how brilliantly he is performing as president. And two-thirds of the country won’t believe him, the two-thirds with any heart left and even a couple of brain cells. Why should...

Sunday, January 28, 2018 - 6:21pm

Trump’s America: The world’s greatest dealmaker is otherwise occupied

Schumer insults McConnell. McConnell insults Schumer. Moderate senators from both parties try to hash out a compromise that might reopen the government, while hundreds of thousands of federal workers wait to find out when they’re going back to work. And Donald Trump, the World’s...

Sunday, January 21, 2018 - 6:08pm

Trump’s America: One year down, we’re still standing

There is no wall. Rocket Man hasn’t nuked Los Angeles, and a lot of alarming creatures no longer work in the White House: Michael Flynn, Steve Bannon, Omarosa Manigault. (Quick show of hands: Who misses Omarosa? I didn’t think so.) Thank God for little favors, I say. The DACA kids...

Thursday, January 18, 2018 - 7:18pm

Trump’s America: Donald digs himself another hole

A house is not a hole. That, I kid you not, is the latest defense from Donald Trump’s enablers, as most of planet Earth howls in outrage at the American president’s vulgar term for nations that aren’t as white as Norway. And Trump’s not helping himself much: He spent...

Monday, January 15, 2018 - 6:43pm

Trump’s America: Dumb, dumber, Trump

How, like, stupid is this? A new book raises questions about Donald Trump’s mental fitness. So he fires off an angry tweet storm that makes him sound mentally unfit. Then, he sends an unhinged person named Stephen Miller onto CNN to vouch for his “very stable genius.” There...

Sunday, January 7, 2018 - 5:28pm

Trump’s America: Three, two, one … Happy Trump Year!

Want to sound smart in 2018? Then don’t forget President Donald Trump’s 18 Shiny, Golden Rules. We (and he) learned every one of them the hard way. 1. There’s crazy like a fox, and then there’s just plain crazy. Mainly, it depends on the day. 2. Golf is a huge waste of...

Wednesday, December 27, 2017 - 5:46pm

Trump’s America: Quick! Read these words before they are banned forever!

Let’s get these words into print right at the top here while we still have the chance. Once the government starts banning language, there’s no telling when the banning will stop. “Vulnerable.” “Entitlement.” “Diversity.” “Transgender.”...

Sunday, December 17, 2017 - 4:33pm

Trump’s America: The degenerate or the Democrat, Alabama decides

The chickens are coming home to Roy. Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, the God-fearing folks of white Alabama — last month, these brave souls were threatening to draw the line at child molesting, ready to abandon serial teen-dater Roy Moore in next week’s special election for a U.S....

Sunday, December 3, 2017 - 6:13pm

New book reveals inner workings of Trump’s brain, for fun

New York-based journalist Ellis Henican has covered Donald Trump for many years, but his newest assignment proved to be among the most challenging: Get inside the president’s brain to expose its (il)logic, and be funny about it. Including illustrations from artist Randy Jones, Henican’s...

Tuesday, November 28, 2017 - 10:52am

Trump’s America: Democratic harassers, Republican perverts and the self-confessed groper-in-chief

At last, we have found it: the final gasp of bipartisanship in Donald Trump’s Washington. Out-of-control horniness doesn’t lean left, and it doesn’t lean right. It springs from red states and from blue. Democratic harassers and Republican perverts march arm-in-arm together on a...

Sunday, November 26, 2017 - 5:51pm

Trump’s America: Trump’s Twitter silence on teen dater Roy Moore

We’d all been waiting for this with no expectation that it would ever arrive: The topic so explosive it could make Donald Trump’s Twitter thumb go suddenly numb. It wasn’t Russian hacking to steal the 2016 election. He’s been tweeting like a madman denying that. It wasn...

Sunday, November 19, 2017 - 6:08pm

Trump’s America: Moore sins in Alabama … Who cares?

So what will it take for Alabama Republicans to forsake Roy Moore? Apparently, this isn’t enough: An on-the-record report that the moralistic Ten Commandments judge, then a 32-year-old assistant district attorney, undressed and groped a 14-year-old hometown girl and dated three other local...

Sunday, November 12, 2017 - 6:51pm

Trump’s America: How low can he go?

One year since his surprise election victory, Donald Trump has just captured another big win, though this one can’t exactly be called surprising. Trump is now the least popular president ever at this point in his term. In a staggering, 33-point landslide, he has defeated Obama, Bush, Clinton...

Sunday, November 5, 2017 - 5:51pm

Trump’s America: Indictments? What indictments? Look over … there!

Keep your eyes OFF the ball! Focus instead on Hillary’s damn emails. Distract yourself with moldy conspiracies about Obama’s uranium sales. Heck, go retweet the president’s latest on #witchhunts, #fakenews and oppo-research #dossiers. Just don’t — I repeat don’...

Sunday, October 29, 2017 - 6:07pm

Trump’s America: Danger! Danger! Rex Tillerson! Look Out Below!

So has Rex Tillerson been castrated or not? It’s never good when that’s the question people are asking about you. Republican Sen. Bob Corker was the one who first raised this painful possibility, charging that President Donald Trump had “publicly castrated” his own...

Sunday, October 15, 2017 - 6:51pm

Trump’s America: Worst aim ever in the DC Corral

Another mass murder by gunfire, another paralyzed response from our political class: They’re shooting blanks again in Washington. Donald Trump blames “pure evil,” which is his way of saying there’s nothing anyone can do to try and stop it. On Capitol Hill, the only thing...

Sunday, October 8, 2017 - 2:24pm

Trump’s America: In Puerto Rico, stuck on stupid again

Put Honoré in charge! If Donald Trump really wants to rescue the 3.5 million hurricane-ravaged American citizens of Puerto Rico, he needs to dump the rah-rah Homeland Security secretary who sees Washington’s response as a “good-news story” and is “very satisfied” with...

Tuesday, October 3, 2017 - 1:42pm

Trump’s America: Knees across America

Sometimes, even the reddest meat goes rancid. Sometimes, even the cheapest political ploy can blow up in your hands. So it was with Donald Trump’s racially coded pandering this weekend against black professional athletes who chose to take a knee as the national anthem was played. Trump...

Sunday, September 24, 2017 - 6:41pm

Trump’s America: Secretary of ‘Can I have your job now?’

World leaders are descending on the United Nations this week, and you know what that means: Manhattan traffic will be even more nightmarish than usual. Restaurant reservations will be impossible in Midtown – except at 5:15 or 11:30 p.m. And U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley will show everyone that...

Sunday, September 17, 2017 - 5:35pm

Trump’s America: Harvey, Irma, Jose and Donald

Irma's slamming Florida. Jose's roiling the Atlantic. Houston's barely started drying out from Harvey. And Hurricane Donald is still wreaking its Category-5 havoc everywhere. The eye is centered in Washington, but the deadly squalls now extend from coast to coast. It has been eerie...

Sunday, September 10, 2017 - 6:40pm