What she wants in a kiss – Metro US

What she wants in a kiss

Credit: Thinkstock Credit: Thinkstock

Studies have shown that a woman discovers everything she needs to know about a potential lover from his very first kiss, and any guy who has tried to get to first base on a date knows it. Interestingly, it’s not just humans who show affectionthis way. Bonobo chimpanzees kiss on the lips, elephants put their trunks in each other’s mouths, and foxes lick each other’s faces — all as signs of affection.

Kissing looks different across various cultures, with passionate lip-locks themodus operandiin only some parts of the world. For example, some societies rub noses with each other to show affection, like the Inuit (Eskimo kisses, anyone?), Polynesians and Malaysians.

Although theories on why we kiss abound (one study says that social kissing originated with Medieval knights as a way to find out if their wives had been drinking while they were off fighting), the most widely accepted scientific reason for kissing is that humans do it to find a suitable mate.

When our faces are close together, ourpheromones”communicate” primally, exchanging biological information about whether or not two people will make strong offspring. Sound unbelievable? There have been studies to prove there’s more than excitement and lust behind the average kiss.Scientific American, for example, has found that a singlekiss triggers a cascade of neural messages and chemicals that transmit tactile sensations, sexual excitement, feelings of closeness, motivation and even euphoria. Their research also shows that kissing may have evolved from the maternal primate practice of chewing food for their young before feeding them mouth-to-mouth, making kissingnot just a sign of affection, but an act necessary for survival!

More than half of all people experience their first real kissby the time they are 14-years-old, but it more often than not isn’t the experience of our teenage dreams. As adults, it can’t hurt to know a little bit more about the mechanics of kissing. Here are some interesting bits about one of our favorite activities:

  • Kissing is exercise:When we kiss, our hearts beat faster and our breathing becomes deeper, mimicking the way our bodies react to exercise. If done with passion, kissing can be a great workout; a 60-second kiss burns more than 50 calories.
  • Kissing can mean proper etiquette:In many European countries, it’s proper etiquette to greet someone by kissing them on both cheeks.
  • Kissing raises self-esteem:Kissing sends signals to our brain to produce hormones that makes us feel good. And it’s no surprise that one kiss leads to another.

So, what’s the secret to a romantickiss that will knock her proverbial socks off? After interviewing over 500 women, there are some very common threads of what is wanted and not wanted:


  • “Sloppy, wet and all over the place.”
  • “His tongue all the way down my throat.”
  • “He shouldn’t think that a kiss is the precursor to me giving him oral sex.”
  • “Don’t lick my mouth.”
  • “What’s up with fast jaw movements? I’m not trying to be chewed on.”


  • Start gently. Let your mouth wander, but pay attention to your partner’s reactions and act accordingly.
  • Light strokes on the cheekbones, neck, and back get extra points, as these areas are usually ignored.
  • Timing is everything. Start slowly, and stay slow enough to watch for signs that encourage more rapid movement and advances.

Keep in mind thata definite “don’t” for one person might be a “please do!” for another. There’s only one way to find out, and luckily, that way is a lot of fun.


• How do men screw up first dates? They aren’t paying attention… to her or themselves »http://www.theproblemismen.com/rants/badfirstdates

• Can a womanmakea man change? Hardly. People change when theychooseto change »http://youtu.be/4XevBSWmQhk

• Thinking of becoming a mom? Check out Lisa Steadman’s account of when her niece was THRUST into her life »http://lisasteadman.com/the-other-woman/


Love is what you get when you stop looking for it and instead invest in the best YOU that you can.


To those women cheating with a married man: You are anoption… and you are borrowing someone else’s spouse. When you value YOU, you will find your own love.

Charles J. Orlando is relationship expert and author of the bestselling book series “The Problem with Women… is Men®.” Find out more about Charles on hiswebsite, or visit him onFacebookfor real-world love advice.