Well, this is a relief. We’re so glad that someone out there has finally found a solution to the epidemic plaguing hair-challenged infant girls everywhere — being mistaken for infant boys. For far too long, the plight of the baldie baby girl has gone overlooked and too many young women still bear the emotional scars as a result of strangers looming over their carriages crooning “oh what a beautiful little boy!” They’ll carry this trauma with them forever.
Except, no. When we came across this new, horrific baby accessory trend — Baby Bangs — (via NYT) our first reaction was HAHAH that’s ridiculous. And then, upon closer inspection, OHMYGODNO. Because, listen up parents, it’s really not ok to strap a fringe of fake hair to your infant’s head because your own, deep-seated insecurities cause you to fear the horror of some random passerby mistaking your kid for a baby of the opposite sex. Because, who cares? When and if that happens, you can just laugh genially and say something like “oh, no, she’s a girl, her hair just hasn’t come in yet,” and everyone can move on with their lives.
Or, here’s a tip, put your precious little chrome dome in one of those onesies that say “Daddy’s Girl” or something. That should clear up any confusion. But, we’re pleading with you, don’t put a weave on your child. It’s really very weird.
