At long last, our two-week-long media love affair with Charlie Sheen appears to be winding down to some sort of denouement. Can we please, please, please be done with this soon?
To recap recent events in handy bullet form:
››In this week's Life & Style, the actor admits on the cover about "losing my mind." Inside the (admittedly not always super-trustworthy) mag, Sheen says he's been under a great deal of mental distress since his twin boys were given over to Sheen's estranged wife, Brooke Mueller: "I'm really trying to contain myself right now. ... My lawyer wants to come over to my house and take the bullets out of my gun." Wow, this all sounds like very sad stuff that is actually not awesome at all!
››Sheen also took the time to make amends for some of his recent rash words. In an interview with Los Angeles radio station K-Earth 101, the actor apologized for calling his former "Two and a Half Men" co-star Jon Cryer a "troll" yesterday, explaining, "I was in a mood, and I threw that out there... [This is] a half apology — it's an apol!"
Sheen also endorsed Rob Lowe, whom some have put forward as his possible replacement on the show: "He's a buddy of mine, he's a beautiful man, a brilliant actor, and I hope he does it and kicks its ass because I still get [paid either way.]"
››Finally, this morning Sheen got something we'd been expecting for a while now: an Auto-Tuned music video of his most infamous quotes, from the same people who brought you Auto-Tune the News and The Bed Intruder Song.
This is a logical endpoint for this saga, right? Nowhere else to go from here (we hope.)