Of course you’d assume any Taylor Swift breakup rumor were true. It’s Taylor Swift, after all. Radar Online has it on good authority that she called off her six-month relationship with Scottish DJ Calvin Harris because he patronized a Thai massage parlor last month. For two hours. Even though he has a masseuse on staff. Last month, paparazzi caught Harris leaving the snicker-inducing institution in question after a two-hour visit, and apparently that incident started Swift down a paranoid girlfriend spiral — despite his insistence that nothing untoward happened — that culminated in her dumping him last week, according to Radar Online.
"When the photos got posted online, Taylor said to him, 'What the f—?" I mean, it's a fair question, especially since multi-millionaire Harris reportedly has a masseuse on staff. "He lied to her. He gave some bullis— excuse that his masseuse was sick and he needed his shoulder worked on."
But! Get this: Swift’s rep took to Twitter to deny the story, stating simply, “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Do not believe Radar Online.” And even Swift herself struck back, tweeting — in response to a tweet by Harris she favorited — “Love isn’t dead. I can sleep tonight.” Which isn’t exactly a denial, but still.
It’s kind of too bad if it’s not true, because how awesome would it be if her next big breakup-inspired album was called “No Happy Endings”? Follow Ned Ehrbar on Twitter: @nedrick