Caroline is back! And shoeless. She's shacked up with Laird, who has racked up a lot of library fines, apparently. They even have an iced tea shelf. He's an "extremely integrated human being," according to Caroline, who announces to Hannah that she's pregnant and probably with a girl, because she can already feel the baby's labia inside her womb.
Hannah opens a letter and jumps up and down. Then she goes to Marnie's apartment, where Marnie preemptively tells her how bad it was for her to sleep with Ray. Then Hannah tells Marnie she got into the Iowa Writers' Workshop.
Beadie is trying to get Jessa to help her kill herself, but Jessa refuses. Beadie tells Jessa she wakes up every morning regretting she's still alive. She admits she only hired Jessa because she thinks Jessa can help her.
Shoshanna registers for graduation and finds out her name is flagged and she can't receive her graduation materials. She goes back to her apartment and breaks pretty much everything inside. Marnie walks in and Shoshanna tells her that she's missing three credits because she failed a class. Marnie, in the most tone-deaf way, tells her that she slept with Ray, and Shoshanna pins her on her bed and screams, "I hate you."
Hannah is trying a new makeup style based on a photo of Olivia Wilde. She doesn't quite look like Olivia Wilde in spite of the eyeliner. She tells her parents she got into grad school and admits that she's not sure if she's really going to go. They're ecstatic and proud of her.
Hannah goes backstage at Major Barbara to tell Adam that she's proud of him and that he's taught her so much. They say "I love you" to each other and she tells him that she got into grad school, and watching him thrive has made her want to thrive. She tells him she thinks she's going to go to Iowa and tells Adam they'll "figure it out."
Shoshanna and Marnie walk into the lobby of the theater and Shoshanna makes a beeline for Ray: "You're going to buy me some M&Ms and we're going to have a f—ing chat." Marnie goes backstage and gives Desi a gift: a guitar pick from James Taylor. They kiss in his dressing room and things heat up until Marnie cuts the make-out session short. The Girls and their friends sit in the audience. Marnie glows in her seat and tells Hannah that Desi kissed her. During intermission, Marnie brags again to Elijah that she and Desi kissed. Elijah ominously tells her that he feels it's not going to work out.
Shoshanna and Ray talk, and Ray tells her that she doesn't really have the right to be mad since she dumped him. She interrupts him to say that she wants to get back together. She tells him he makes her want to be the best version of herself. She tells him she loves him — in turn, he tells her he's "eternally appreciative" of her and that they're in different places. She begs him, with tears in her eyes.
It's Adam's scene and he announces that he's an intelligent "pinter" (a painter). He polishes the cannon on set and closes the play in its final scene.
In the bathroom after the play, Marnie walks out of the stall and finds Clementine at the sinks. She tells Marnie, "You're just a sad, pathetic mess" and lets her know that the album Marnie and Desi were going to record will no longer happen.
Jessa gives Beadie her pills of death and holds her hands as they wait.
After the play, Adam curses off Hannah and tells her he was terrible because of what she told him. She's smiling and laughing and telling him that everyone thought he was great. It doesn't calm him down and he accuses her of leaving him. She says they can work it out and he says, "I'm sick of trying to work it out." She congratulates him on opening night and walks off.
Suddenly, in bed, Beadie screams that she doesn't want to die and tells Jessa to call 911. Jessa jumps to the phone.
Back at her apartment, Shoshanna carefully puts everything back together and finds Ray's book and smashes a window with it.
Marnie spies from behind a gate and sees Desi and Clementine fighting on the sidewalk.
Hannah comes back home and finds her acceptance letter from Iowa and smiles with those big teeth of hers and for the first time in a long time, we like her.