Do you ever get angry and resentful because you’re not getting what you want? Or do you feel your needs are not being met? If you do feel like this, then I have another question for you: Do you ask for what you want?
When you feel you’re not getting what you want from others, the easiest thing to do is complain about it. But blaming other people for your feelings of dissatisfaction is the wrong way to approach the issue. The key to getting what you want is to ask for it.
Asking can be really uncomfortable for some folks. I see this often when it comes to asking for a raise, asking for help or merely asking someone to listen to what you have to say. As difficult as it can be to ask, it’s important to realize that you won’t get what you want until you’re willing to put it out there.
If you tend to freak out about asking for what you want, it’s time to shake off the fear and change your ways. What you’ll come to learn is that, deep down, all people genuinely want to give. Therefore, when you ask for something from a place of authenticity and grace, your request will be met with mutual respect. Now’s the time to create a new habit and get your asking muscles in motion!
Begin the process of asking for what you want by following these three steps.
Step 1: Accept that it may feel uncomfortable and awkward at first.
You’ve likely spent a lot of time unwilling to ask for what you want, so testing out new behavior will feel strange. Remember that the strangeness is a good sign. Regardless of how uncomfortable you feel, take this powerful action in the right direction and step outside your comfort zone.
Step 2: Get clear about what you’re asking for.
Make sure you’re clear about what you want. When you’re clear about what you’re asking for, your energy is committed to the request. If you’re unclear, your energy wavers, which makes it more difficult to really get behind your ask. It’s also really important to back up your request with positive intentions. When your request is backed with the energy of love, it will be received with love.
Step 3: Just ask!
The moment you notice yourself avoiding the chance to ask for what you want, move swiftly past your fear and just ask. Though you may be scared, this simple act of asking can change your life in an instant. You’ll come to know a new sense of self-respect that will give others the freedom to respect you back.
