When photos surfaced of Heidi Klum vacationing with her bodyguard, Martin Kristen, in Italy over the weekend, it didn't quite look like anyone was on the clock. Klum's ex-husband, Seal, was more than happy to confirm the rumors.
"I would have preferred Heidi show a little bit more class and at least wait until we separated first before deciding to fornicate with the help, as it were," the singer told TMZ when asked for a comment on the photos, which show Kristen and Klum with their arms around each other. "But I guess you now all have the answer that you've been looking for for the past seven months."
Usually we'd feel gross still talking about a couple who separated almost eight months ago, but you'll remember that these two made us watch as they renewed their vows every year. Plus, they have "help" to "fornicate" with -- they'll be OK.
Heidi Klum for the win
As for Heidi Klum, she pulled out all of her PR tricks for an expertly crafted masterpiece of a rebuttal: "I cherish all of the great memories Seal and I created together over the years. Our separation was based on issues between the two of us," she tells Us Weekly. "Seal has moved on and so have I. My priority has and continues to be protecting and providing for our children."
Now that, friends, is a thing of beauty. Serene on the surface with unmistakable hints of superiority and a potential for highly personal media warfare -- we're getting chills just reading it.