ARTS
A Love Show Holiday Extravaganza
The holidays get extra steamy this year as “The Nutcracker: Rated R” returns to NYC for the first time since 2012 in an extra special Love Show Holiday Extravaganza at Le Poisson Rouge. Not only do the kinky dancers show up for some decidedly naughty Christmas fun — plumbing our deepest holiday secrets, from family spats to boozy confessions — they’ll also be doing numbers from the variety show Yule Shul. The show blends burlesque, ballet, magic, circus art and more. Dec. 22-23, 8 p.m., Le Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker St., $10-$25, lpr.com PARTY
If you can’t visit mom this holiday season, you can at least visit the mothership. Celebrate in outer space with a themed Xmas Spectacular at Brooklyn’s House of Yes. The party goes intergalactic with a cast of characters including Paindeer, a Santacize instructor, Misfit drag queens, lady baby Jesus and an alien Father Christmas. Performances are directed by Ana Sapozhnikova and Kae Burke, with refreshments by Perrier. Early arrivals get drink specials and a surprise floor slow. Dec. 22, 7 p.m., House of Yes, 2 Wyckoff Ave., Brooklyn, $35-$50, houseofyes.org FILM
A Christmas Story: Secret Santa + Ovaltine
“A Christmas Story” is mightily divisive — you either hate it or you love it so much you’ll watch it for 24 hours straight, every single year, on Christmas Day. If you’re in that latter camp, head to Videology this Friday for a special pre-Christmas screening complete with a complimentary glass of boozy Ovaltine and a Secret Santa gift supplied by a member of the staff. Dec. 23, 7 p.m., 308 Bedford Ave., Brooklyn, $23, videologybarandcinema.com MUSIC
From “He’s A Rebel” to “A Fine, Fine Boy,” Darlene Love’s music is seared into our collective conscious with her ascent to rock-and-roll stardom and select film roles (“Lethal Weapon”). But the hall-of-famer also carved a niche for herself as a Christmas singer with annual performances of “Christmas Baby Please Come Home” on “David Letterman” from 1986 to 2015. See her tribute to Christmas at one of three upcoming holiday concerts at B.B. King’s in Times Square. Dec. 23 & 26, Jan. 6, B.B. King’s Blues Club and Grill, 237 W. 42nd St., $45-$495, bbkingblues.com HANUKKAH
Celebrate Hanukkah at sundown for eight nights at Grand Army Plaza in Park Slope, where they host “The Largest Menorah.” The monument stands at 32 feet (approximately the tallest allowed by Jewish law), and it’s a spectacle each year as Rabbi Shimon Hecht rides a cherry picker to light the candles one by one. The holiday event, sponsored by Chabad in Brooklyn, includes live music, fresh latkes and small presents for young kids. Start times vary, so check the schedule. Dec. 24, Grand Army Plaza, Brooklyn, Free, chabadparkslope.com FANFIC
Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction Comedians try their hand at writing filthy fan fiction onstage during the quarterly Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction at Union Hall. Host Bryan Cook brings the popular live show and podcast back to NYC next week with guest comics Josh Gondelman, Jo Firestone, Sam Morril, Mike Lebovitz, Eli Sairs and Eli Yudin. In addition to crafting their own stories from pop fiction, they also take suggestions from the audience. Dec. 27, 8 p.m., Union Hall, 702 Union St., Brooklyn, $10, unionhallny.com NEW YEAR NEW YOU
A cleansing fire may not be in the cards, but there’s a totally legal way to purge your 2016 grudges. Head to Times Square for this annual “ceremony” inspired by a Latin American tradition, where you write your bad memories on sheets of paper, then watch as it’s destroyed in the maw of a Shred-it. Or if you’d like to get more physical, there’s a mat to smash small mementos that are taking up literal and mental space in your life. Make way for good mojo! Dec. 28, noon-1 p.m., free, timessquarenyc.org PARTY
You’re probably triple-booked with plans for New Year’s Eve, which is why Get Real makes life easy by hosting a pre-NYE party on Dec. 29. Like last year, it’s headlined by Green Velvet and Claude VonStoke, with guest artists and a special location in Brooklyn to be announced as the date nears. But you won’t want to wait to lock in your plans: Tickets are selling out fast, so you should act now if you’re looking to get down with some of today’s hottest house music at Get Real. Dec. 29, 10 p.m., Location TBA, $40, mean.red PARTY
There are two kinds of NYE revelers: those who go to bed after the ball drops and those who are just getting started. The latter should head uptown to the Triad for Speakeasy Moderne, a boozy party that will come to life just before midnight with cabaret performances, burlesque dancers, sultry singer Dina Fanai and DJs. Times Square festivities will be aired for the first half-hour, and then it’s time to party straight into January. Jazz Age costumes and cocktail attire are encouraged. Dec. 31, 11:30 p.m.-3 a.m., The Triad, 158 W. 72nd St., $120-$149, thetriad.com HOLIDAYS
Kwanzaa Celebration: Regeneration Night The Apollo welcomes Kwanzaa with traditional music and dance for a 10th year. Hosted by radio funnyman Imhotep Gary Byrd, you’ll be treated to ballet and more by Abdel Salaam’s Forces of Nature Dance Theatre, which is also using the event to celebrate its 35th anniversary. The performance highlights Kwanzaa themes of family, community and culture. Dec. 31, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., Apollo Theater, 253 W. 125th St., $14-$35, apollotheater.org
10 great events to get you to 2017
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