I’m a grown-ass woman who’s been having sex for 14 years (yes, I added it up for funsies) but it turns out there’s plenty I don’t know about the ins-and-outs of the proverbial in-and-out. Last night, lucky for me, I got schooled and entertained at a new comedy show called Sex! With Your Mom. The “adult sex-ed game show” is hosted by two sexperts: comedian Natalie Wall — who, as the creator of the storytelling show Awkward Sex and the City, has heard and told countless tales of mortifying sexual encounters — and Emily Owens, a New York City high school health teacher who also moonlights as a consultant for Pure Romance, a company that sells adult sex toys.
The second rendition of the show — the debut was held at the Duplex Cabaret Theatre — took place at Friends & Lovers Bar in Crown Heights. Three contestants took to the stage to answer sexual trivia questions posed by Wall and Owens, with the winner taking home a gift card to Manhattan sex shop The Pleasure Chest. Bobby Hankinson (host of LGBTQ comedy show "Kweendom") cameoed in a vagina suit and hot pink heels.
Wall says she got the idea for the show when a storyteller on Awkward Sex and the City incorrectly referred to her female anatomy while recounting a sex anecdote. “She said, ‘He put his penis in my uretha' and I was like, ‘Nooo, not at all,’” Wall remembers. “I realized how much none of us know anything and I thought this would be a really fun show and easy way to get the information out there and make it not as intimidating.”
Suffice it to say, Owens and Wall know their sex-stuff and how to communicate it in a ~pleasurable~ way. Here’s a sampling of the knowledge that I took home with me:
The clitoris is actually shaped like a wishbone
I knew about the misconception that a clitoris only consists of the pea-sized tip we can see, but I did not know the extent of the shape it takes internally. Beginning with the glans (the name for the external tip), the organ continues in two “legs,” called crura, which wrap around the vaginal canal in a V-shape on both sides, as though giving it a hug. I never thought of the clitoris as cozy before. (See above slideshow for a hand(s)y diagram.)
85 percent of women don’t achieve orgasm from intercourse alone
I feel this to be true on a personal level, but it’s helpful to put a number on it. The majority of women require additional stimulation of the clitoris and/or G-spot to climax.
A few fun facts about boobs
A single breast weights ½ pound per cup size: An A cup boob weighs in at ½ pound, a B cup at 1, and so on. Another tidbit: 90 percent of women have irregularly shaped breasts. So you’re not alone if you’ve ever felt like one boob was doing something different from the other.
5 in 1,000 males are born with an irregularly placed urethra, making it one of the most common birth defects
Wait what. Normally the urethra, or pee hole, as it were, is located on the tip of the penis. But in cases of hypospadias, males are born with it located on the underside of the penis, a little to the left of the tip, or even as far down as where the base of the penis meets the scrotum. I have never noticed this but I will keep an eye out from now on!
What “intersex” actually means
I feel like I should have known this, but, hey, at least I do now. The Intersex Society of North America (ISNA) defines it as "a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.” This could manifest in a variety of ways: a girl being born with an extra large clitoris or without a vaginal opening; a boy with a divided scrotum that resembles vaginal labia. It’s essentially a more accurate term for what was once referred to as hermaphroditism.
Thanks to my new sex moms, I am now on the path to becoming more sexually woke, and damn it feels good.