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Unexplainable celebrities and their terrible, terrible music

If Andy Warhol were alive today he would have probably added about oneminute and twelve seconds to his quote that “Everybody will be worldfamous for 15 minutes.”

If Andy Warhol were alive today he would have probably added about one minute and twelve seconds to his quote that “Everybody will be world famous for 15 minutes.”


The extra time is as long as Steven Slater — the ex-Jet Blue flight attendant who famously ended his career by swearing at passengers and jumping down an emergency slide — appears in a rap video advertising a mobile app.


The video, which sees Slater rapping and smirking and looking oddly like Star Wars’ Emperor Palpatine, may feature one of the worst hip-hop songs ever made, but he’s not the only pseudo-celebrity to try — and fail — at extending fame with a music video. Here are three more must-avoid clips:


Heidi Montag — Blackout
Most people would agree that Hills star Montag should have stuck to faux-reality TV than venture out into the music world, but clearly this is a woman bent on keeping her 15 minutes going. Her video for Blackout, off her 2009 EP Here She Is, consists solely of Montag writhing around a beach in a bikini. It’s a little hard to pay attention to the song, but that may be because it sounds more like one of those tunes your friends in Grade 7 wrote for the school talent show than a track for mass consumption.


Levi Johnston — After Love
At least Bristol Palin’s ex had the brains not make a music video that he sings in himself, but that doesn’t make me want 4:46 seconds of my life back any less. The Wasilla, Alaksa mayoral candidate and Playgirl centerfold stars in Minneapolis R&B singer Brittani Sensor’s music video for her song After Love. He plays a guy whose girlfriend’s mom doesn’t approve of her daughter’s choice in boyfriend. Sound familiar? Johnson’s sweaty cuddling is gross, and even worse, unconvincing.


Paris Hilton — Stars are Blind
Hilton’s done a lot worse to keep her time in the spotlight going than make an atrocious music video, but after people saw her spot for Stars are Blind, you couldn’t help but talk about it. The cheesy synth Reggae intro, the heavily edited vocals and the bland chorus (is there even a chorus? It’s hard to tell) make this song even worse that Montag’s. And, like her reality star cohort, Hilton’s video mostly takes place on a beach with her in a bikini. At least they hired a few other actors for the shoot.

 
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