Robert Kraft is a billionaire. He can do just about anything he wants in life. And that's great for him.
But, if we're being honest with ourselves, we know that there's just something awkward about a 71-year-old man constantly prancing around with a 32-year-old blonde. Said blonde is "actress" Ricki Noel Lander, whose IMDB page shows proof of her past accolades such as "Flight Attendant" in Iron Man and "Hot Girl" in the TV show Working Class. In other words, her second home might as well be the Kodak Theatre in late February.
Lander and Kraft have been linked for a few months now, as the duo was seen sitting side-by-side during a Celtics playoff game this past spring. Kraft lost his wife to cancer last summer.
Kraft says that Lander is his "pal." Ya know, the same way that Luke in accounting is your "pal." Two beers after work, then it's straight home.
Lander has apparently found the perfect theatrical sidekick and there's little doubt that when you want to nail down a role, you bring a senior citizen/prominent NFL owner along for the ride. Who knows, this could lead to bigger and better things for the duo -- like Lander as "Hot Girl" and Kraft as "Nursing home patient" in the fifth episode of the third season of Mike & Molly.
As you can see, some real chemistry here. And you know the part when Kraft punches the guy in the blue shirt and says "F*** you P****!" was simply a reenactment of the scene between he and NFLPA head DeMaurice Smith during the lockout last year. Bouquets all around!
Of course, this isn't the first time we've been treated to the famous Kraft awkwardness. In fact, it's the one thing Patriots fans hate about winning the Lamar Hunt or Lombardi trophy. You just know Kraft is going to do something weird up there on that stage with Jim Nantz. Take last season's win over the Ravens for example:
Then there's the always comical Robert Kraft dance, that was unveiled in 2002. (Fast forward to 2:44)
So we're just not quite sure what to think of Kraft's ultimate plan here. Make no mistake, he is a calculating man and could very well just be going through a phase much like the one wrestling honcho Vince McMahon went through this past decade. Ya know, the "I'm over 60, but I'm rich and I can make out with smoking hot girls on camera whenever the hell I want to" phase that most of our forefathers went through.
(P.S. That's Alex Rodriguez' current girlfriend, Torrie Wilson, locking lips with McMahon - whose real life wife, Linda, wanted to be senator of Connecticut).
Look, Chipper's had a very, very nice career (one MVP award, eight-time All-Star) but the guy is not exactly Mickey Mantle or Ted Williams. FOX and ESPN would like him to be right now, but he's not. The nation is not going to halt their daily activities to watch Chipper's "last at-bat" and most AL fans have already forgotten about him.
It just felt like the whole "young man's All-Star game" with the lone guy from the "good, ol' steroids age" storyline was a little forced. Might be just me.
Anyways, here's Chipper's painfully long and absolutely, 100 percent NOT contrived talk to the young guns. You can almost hear Bryce Harper snickering in the background.