That’s it. I’m convinced.
The 1997-98 Chicago Bulls are going to overthrow Kim Jong-un and take over North Korea within the next five months. (For the record: Jordan as president, Pippen as VP, Luc Longley as CIA head and Joe Kleine as speaker of the house.)
Two weeks ago Dennis Rodman was “touring” the People’s Republic with the Harlem Globetrotters (wow, that’s still fun to write) and now we learn that a young Kim Jong-un took a photograph with former Bulls small forward Toni Kukoc years ago. Kukoc seemed VERY defensive when asked about the photo (likely taken in France in the '90s when the Bulls were touring there in the preseason).
"It's Paris, the McDonald's tournament, we're world champions," Kukoc told ESPNChicago.com. "Every place you went, people were trying to take pictures. What am I supposed to say? I don't really know what to say. I don't remember what I had for lunch today and I can remember that? It ended up a crazy thing.
"I consider myself pretty well-traveled but I don't know at least 50 percent of the countries and I'm supposed to know some kid who (was going to) take over his dad's dictatorship?" Kukoc said. "I don't think if there were seven bodyguards around him with guns I wouldn't have noticed.”
It’s pretty obvious by now that the ’98 Bulls are just roping in Kim Jong-un (Rodman saying he’s his friend) and the U.S. media (Kukoc’s deny, deny, deny strategy) while this whole time there’s an "Argo"-like plot (or at least an episode of "Looney Tunes" when Bugs Bunny dresses up as the hot girl rabbit) being hatched.
We can now all expect a title like “Penetra-Bull: How a former basketball dynasty invaded and overthrew a Stalinist dictatorship” to win motion picture of the year in 2039.
Sapp fatigued with Patriots talk
Speaking of Stalinist dictatorships, Bill Belichick’s name was being tossed about on NFL Network Tuesday night as former Patriots GM Scott Pioli sat down with NFL Red Zone spaz Scott Hanson. Warren Sapp had no idea his microphone was on when he said this over the NFL Net airwaves:
"It's the same f—ing spew we had (Mike) Lombardi doing,” Sapp whispered in the creepiest way possible. “The f—ing Bill Belichick f—ing angle."
Matt Burke is sports editor and a columnist at Metro Boston. Follow him on Twitter: @BurkeMetroBOS